Guy Spends 6 Months and $1500 Trying to Make a Sandwich from Scratch
yahoo – For most of us, the hardest part about making a sandwich involves hunting for mustard and pickles in the back of the fridge, but not Andy George. George, host of the TV and YouTube show How to Make Everything, took the task of sandwich-making a little more literally. George spent six months and $1,500 making a single chicken sandwich, showing the Internet just how much we take for granted. Despite the growing popularity of urban gardening and eating local, George points out in his video, “the average person has become less and less involved in the creation of their own food supply.” Salt, for instance. Salt can be found on almost every table. But most people don’t consider that, for much of human history, salt was so precious it was considered a currency. In 6th century sub-Saharan Africa, merchants traded salt ounce for ounce for gold. Now it’s just something we “pass.”
Not for Andy George, though. A resident of Minnesota, George traveled to the Pacific Ocean, sailed out to sea, gathered water, brought it home, boiled it for six hours, baked it, and then narrowly sneaked the suspicious looking ziplock bag past airport security on his way home. His quest for a homemade sandwich led him on all sorts of adventures, including planting vegetables and wheat to make pickles and bread, gathering honey from honeybees when his sugar beets weren’t growing, picking stinging nettles to help him make cheese and, finally, butchering his own chicken. The result? “It’s not bad,” he says, considering the result of his work. “That’s about it.”
You ever had somebody tell you that there’s nothing that feels as satisfying as making something with your bare hands? That hard work is the key to satisfaction? Well that’s all total bullshit and this guy proves it. Guess what, bro? You live in Minnesota and the 21st century. You don’t need to run around decapitating chickens like an asshole or sailing the ocean blue to season your shitty little club. Nobody needs to shimmy down to Costa Rica to grab a banana because we have planes and trucks and shit. It’s not a novel concept. People have been getting their food brought to them since the invention of the goddamn wheel, which this asshole seems eager to reinvent.
And to top it off, he ends up making a sandwich that’s just OK tasting. You know what the missing ingredient is, dickhead? You should have your ass sunk in to a couch with your hands in your pants watching Saturday afternoon football while your girl spreads spicy mustard over some roast beef. That’s the sandwich magic right there. Not hard work. Not scooping up ocean water. And you don’t have to No Country for Old Men a bunch of cows to get there either. Get a chick to make you a sandwich. Some quick math tells me you’d save about 6 months of your life and have about $1490 to gamble on football for the rest of the season. What a jackass.
Editor – I don’t edit blogs but Sobol needs to have this clip in, has to have it.