White On White Crime - Jogger Says He "Settled" Brooklyn So White People Could Live There After Family Fan Into Him With Their Stroller
Before we really dig into this saga, I figured with this being the whitest altercation of all time, I’d go ahead and make the whitest reference of all time. This guy is exactly like Ben Stiller when he’s a fucking lunatic on the show Friends:
The display that we witnessed was probably the most disrespectful thing I’ve ever seen. I have never seen a white dude get pushed around the ring like that with another white dude. With black guys, sure. Because average white dudes are scared of black guys. Like in the Mad Real World with Chad from Chappelle’s show. But never have I seen a White on White altercation be this one sided. This Cross Fit Christopher Columbus of Brooklyn who settled the neighborhood vs this poor bastard with the bald spot and the cotton Dockers. I was waiting for that Hardo to yell out “Whats the square root of this apartment!” like Tron did and then fuck his wife. Just completely emasculated, eviscerated and castrated right there on the streets. From the poke to the chest:
to screaming in his face “Im paid to fight babies like you…BABY”
It was complete domination. If youre that soccer dad, you gotta just throw a punch. You might know you are gonna get your fucking ass kicked but thats better than the verbal thrashing you got from this man. Like listen I will end up being that completely average dad and if this happens to me I’m throwing down. I will end up in the hospital because this MMA guy clearly beats the shit out of people for a living but I wouldnt be able to live with myself getting emasculated like that. Yea maybe he finally walked away from that altercation unscathed but make no mistake about it, the next time his wife is masturbating she’s thinking about the Christopher Columbus of Brooklyn. She’s thinking about him settling that land and defending his territory. She’s thinking about her husband with the khaki wedgie getting obliterated by this guy right as she O’s.
The most hilarious thought of this whole thing is the idea of this dude settling the neighborhood. Like fucking John Smith or something. When he arrived it was just black people and rap music and Philly Blunts and he braved the New World and slowly but surely more of his people arrived to settle the territory.
PS – The “Thank you white guy!” from the peanut gallery was perfect
PPS – How about that Meter Maid Cop who just stood there the whole time like “I do not get paid enough to deal with these crazy white people. Good for him.