Your 12 Finalists For The 2015 Toy Hall Of Fame

ROCHESTER, N.Y. — The spinning top, coloring book, Wiffle Ball and puppet are vying for a place in the National Toy Hall of Fame. The simple classics are among 12 finalists for this year’s class announced Monday. They are up against American Girl dolls, Battleship, Jenga, PLAYMOBIL, the scooter, Super Soaker, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Twister. Two winners will be inducted into hall at The Strong museum on Nov. 5. Anyone can nominate a toy, but to earn a place in the hall of fame, they must have survived multiple generations, be widely recognized and foster learning, creativity or discovery through play. The finalists are chosen by historians and curators at The Strong. From there, a national panel of judges made up of inventors, educators, psychologists and others choose the winners. Last year, little green Army men, the Rubik’s Cube and bubbles took their place in the hall, joining 53 other old favorites, including Barbie, Easy-Bake Oven, G.I. Joe, the Frisbee and View-Master. This year’s finalists include two toys that date to ancient times, the puppet and the top. At the other end of the timeline is the Super Soaker, which put a tank of water on a squirt gun in 1990. American Girl dolls, Jenga and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle toys emerged in the 1980s, while the PLAYMOBIL line of three-inch figures was a product of the 1970s. Twister was introduced in 1966, followed a year later by Battleship. The Wiffle Ball was introduced in 1953. Scooters have been around since the turn of the 20th century, according to The Strong, along with coloring books, whose popularity soared with the invention of crayons.

The Toy Hall Of Fame Inductees has become one of my favorite running blogs. In 2012, Star Wars and Dominoes made it in. In 2013, I forgot to blog it. So its not really a “running blog” yet. I’ve just done it twice. The 2013 winners were Chess and the Rubber Duck. Probably why I didnt blog it. What a SHITTY year for the Toy Hall of Fame. And 2014 was a trio of winners – the Rubik’s Cube, Little Green Army Men and Bubbles. 2015 is a top heavy crop, but there are some gems. Lets break down the nominees from worst to best:

12. Playmobil

I remember playing with Playmobil toys. Then my dad got a job.

Seriously this is some flat out poor people shit. These are nothing but bootleg Legos and Legos werent even that good to begin with. F-. You will never get in Playmobil. Do you hear me? NEVER. You wont even get in out of pity after like 25 years. You’re not even Bert Blyleven. You suck Playmobil.

11. American Girl Dolls

I dont know anything about American Girl Dolls except this A) They look like something from a Horror Movie, and B) they look like a collector item. Not a toy you can actually play with. Chances are if you “played” with American Girl Dolls you’re a feminist loser. If you played with Barbies you’re probably a hot bitch who’s good in the sack. As evidenced by the fact that Barbie was inducted in the first ever class to the Toy Hall of Fame (1999). You suck American Girl Doll.

10. Spinning Top

Too close to a Dreidel for this Gentile’s liking. No thanks. I understand that some of the inductees are going to be old school toys that people used to play with in like the Great Depression and shit. Like in 2008 the fucking STICK made the Hall of Fame. I get it. I understand there are certain time periods for certain toys. But the spinning top still kinda sucks. And again, the Jew thing. You suck Spinning Top.

9. Puppet

More poor people shit. I mean dont get me wrong, everyone has thrown a sock on and turned it into a puppet. Hell, Mankind made sock puppets HOT in the streets in the late 90s. But at the end of the day its a sock, not a toy. Like I also used to make shadow puppets with my hands and the sun. Is the sun a toy? I dont think so. The sun is a giant gaseous ball of fire. Puppets are for Poors. Requires too much imagination.

8. Jenga

I have no beef with Jenga. Its a fine game. Its a time killer. Its annoying as fuck that you have to stack it all up every time. Lotta work. At the end of the day Jenga is just a compiler. Its not a hall of fame toy.

7. Coloring Book

Coloring Books are clearly only for a certain age group, but there is no denying their dominance. As a matter of fact, it should have really gone in to the Hall right along with Crayons, which was an original inductee. They are like a Tag Team. Coloring Books have saved the lives of millions of parents, there’s no denying their impact.

Alright now we’re getting to the good stuff:

6. Twister

Twister has been on the ballot since 2010. It was a finalist in 2011. Always a Bridesmaid, never a Bride is Twister. And the reason is that people really like the IDEA of twister. Not the actual execution of Twister. When you’re young it sounds like fun and then after a few minutes of contorting yourself like an idiot you’re like “Lets just go play video games.” As an adult you have some perverted ideas where you’re gonna play Twister with chicks and you’re gonna end up fucking 69’ing them right there on that plastic sheet and all that happens is you risk tearing an ACL. Twister will be the Bert Blyleven – they will get in eventually. Not this year though. Competition too stiff.

5. Scooter

Scooter’s are fire. Plain and simple. “Riding Bikes” is probably the best game of all time and a Scooter is right below it. Especially the Snoopy Scooter from the 90s which was just a skateboard with a stick. Also these scooters:

That is nothing but 1988 HEAT right there. New age scooters like Razors are for the birds, but the fact they’re still making them shows how dope scooters are. Top 5 of the 2014 class

4. Battleship

One of the first games of strategy kids ever play. Yea those little pegs were a pain in the ass but when you saw your opponents face drop when you got a “Hit” it was better than masturbating for the first time. Just kidding nothing is better than that. But still awesome. What bumps this up to the Final Four is the travel size:

Travel Size toys were like the original Mobile Apps. Car rides were never the same after travel size games came out. The back seat of the car was awesome now. Game changer.

Now this is where it gets really fucking hard. 3 toys left. Only 2 inductees this year. And we have TMNT, Wiffle Ball and Super Soaker. One has gotta be left out. Thats TOUGH. But someone needs to miss out.

3. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (FUCK I hate myself!)

TMNT action figures are probably 2nd in the action figure world behind GI Joes. The case can be made for Ghostbusters as well. When you factor in just how many characters you could play with from the TMNT world…and the trucks…and the PIZZA THROWER, these guys definitely deserve to be in the Hall. I dont know why 3 Toys got in during the 2014 voting, but if theres ever a time to let in a 3rd, its now. Breaks my heart to leave Leonardo, Donatello, Michelangelo and Rafael off the ballot. But, just too much competition at the top. Number 1 and 2 are on my original Toy Hall Of Fame list.

2. Wiffle Ball

Its almost unfair that Wiffle Ball is considered a toy. Thats like saying the football or baseball or basketball is a toy. These are tools. Tools that changed the world. Created sports. Wiffle is a sport, not a game. Its something you play from the time you’re a kid till the time you’re an adult drunk at a bbq. 100% a Hall of Fame Toy

Which leaves the number 1 toy of the 2015 class:

1. Super Soaker

What I always say about this masterpiece – “Probably the most perfect toy of all time. The Super Soaker 50 was literally the perfect water gun. The air pressure was a game changer. It was much bigger than the little mini squirt guns you used to have to dunk under water to fill up. But not too big that you couldn’t run around with it. Best summer time toy of all time.”

Overall a great class of toys. A little top heavy. Which hurts for TMNT. But overall an impressive list. We’ll see who actually gets in come November. And as always with these posts, my own Toy Hall Of Fame. I feel like Indiana Jones when I talk about all the toys on my list. “THEY BELONG IN A MUSEUM.”

Complete Toy Hall of Fame List

Previous inductees:

Barbie

Crayola Crayon

Erector Set

Etch A Sketch

Frisbee

Hula hoop

Lego

Lincoln Logs

Marbles

Monopoly

Play-Doh

Radio Flyer wagon

Roller Skates

Teddy bear

Tinkertoy

View-Master

Duncan Yo-Yo

Bicycle

Jacks

Jump rope

Mr. Potato Head

Slinky

Silly Putty

Tonka Trucks

Jigsaw puzzle

Raggedy Ann

Alphabet Blocks

Checkers

G.I. Joe

Rocking horse

Scrabble

Candy Land

Cardboard box

Jack-in-the-box

Easy-Bake Oven

Lionel Trains

Atari 2600

Kite

Raggedy Andy

The Stick

The Baby Doll

The Skateboard

The ball

Game Boy

Big Wheel

The Game of Life

Playing cards

Hot Wheels

Dollhouse

Blanket

Star Wars action figures

Dominoes

Chess

Rubber duck

Rubik’s Cube

Little Green Army Men

Bubbles