12 Year Old Girl Sneezes 12,000 Times A Day

ANGLETON, Texas– It’s baffling doctors and leaving a 12-year-old girl in a lot of pain. According to KRIV, Katelyn Thornley can’t stop sneezing. She sneezes up to 12,000 times a day; that’s about 20 times a minute. Katelyn and her family spoke to KRIV and said it’s so bad that Katelyn can’t go to school.  It started just a few weeks ago. “I just started in little spurts, sneezing…I’m constantly in pain with my abdomen; my legs are weak. I can barely eat,” Katelyn said. The family has talked to six doctors, who have ruled out viruses and allergies. Some experts think it may be stress-related. Katelyn told KRIV the only relief she gets is when she is able to fall asleep after taking Benadryl.  “Sometimes I wish I could leave my body for a little while so I could watch myself sleep and be at peace because even in my dreams, I sneeze.”

Yo DJ! DROP…THAT…BEAT!!!

The illest beat in the game right now. Made by DJ Sneeze. Legit sounds like the latest EDM song. Wait for it, wait for it, wait for it….PEW PEW PEW PEW! Hopefully this gets remixed and becomes a smash hit and then she can cash in on this whole elaborate ruse. Because make no mistake about it, theres no way this is real. Its right up there with the Dystonia Cheerleader. Right alongside the chick who was allergic to electricity. The black broad who said she has a thousand orgasms a day.  The chick who was hypersensitive to all modern technology. The “face blindness” sisters. The chick who pretended to be paralyzed in a wheelchair. This goes right up on the wall along with these other Hall of Fame chicks who pretended to have a condition for attention. Oh the Beatles and Benadryl make you stop sneezing? Really? Thats the Sneeze Cure? FOH. I’d love to see this chick in a horror movie. Hiding under the bed or in the closet from a serial killer. Bet your bottom fuckin dollar she’d be able to stop herself from sneezing then.

True story my dad suffers from a variation of this. Not 12,000 times but if he sneezes once, he sneezes 14 times. Not 13. Not 15. 14 times. Every time. My mom loathes him for it. One day they are gonna get a divorce and 14 Sneezes is gonna be listed as the irreconcilable difference. She acts like hes doing it on purpose and wants to actually murder him with her bare hands. So imagine being this chick’s parents? Her friends of family? Sitting around listen to her fake sneeze 12,000 times a day? I’d 100% have to cut them out of my life. Real or fake, theres no way I could ever be around this girl for more than 45 minutes.