The NBA, And More Importantly, Charles Barkley, Are Back In The Saddle
Forget the NBA being back in action, just give me Chuck being Chuck on every station doing the damn thing. TNT, The Food Network, QVC. Anything would be watchable with Sir Charles running his mouth. Look, everyone knows I love this man. I’m Round-Mound of Rebound for life. He threw all the fucks he had out the window at a Wendy’s Drive-Thru at Auburn in 1982 and has never looked back. How great is it that the PC Police has essentially given up on Barkley at this point? Almost any other media personality would be ridiculed and required to apologize for most of the comments Barkley makes. Sir Charles pisses where he pleases and not only doesn’t give a shit, but gets minimal heat in the process. Long live the king, and get ready for another great year of soundbites.
Also, a pretty low blow by Golden State. Let the man relive his glory days in peace instead of being reminded he’s up there with Marino, Ewing, and Freddie Mitchell as among the greatest to never win a title.
Obligatory: With any Sir Charles post, we present the list –
Top 10 Charles Barkley Quotes of All-Time:
10. “I can be bought. If they paid me enough, I’d work for the Klan.”
9. On his 17-year old daughter not dating yet: “Thank goodness. I just hope she doesn’t start before I go in the Hall of Fame. That way, I won’t have to kill anybody before I get inducted.”
8. Charles Barkley after seeing a picture of Sam Cassell on the screen: “Phone home.” And later he remarks to Kenny, “Sam Cassell is a good guy, but he’s not going to wind up on the cover of GQ anytime soon.”
7. Asked if he had ever been in the governor’s office in Montgomery, Barkley said no. “They don’t let many black people in the governor’s mansion in Alabama,” he said, “unless they’re cleaning.”
6. “When I was recruited at Auburn [university], they took me to a strip joint. When I saw those titties on Buffy, I knew that Auburn met my academic requirements.”
5. On Jerry Krause still being able to keep his job as GM of the Chicago Bulls: “Jerry Krause must have pictures of his boss’s wife having sex with a monkey.”
4a. On national TV on Valentines day: “I’d never buy my girl a watch… she’s already got a clock over the stove.”
4b. “If you go out with a girl and they say she has a great personality, she’s ugly. If they tell you a guy works hard, he can’t play a lick. Same thing.”
3. After an Olympic Dream Team victory over Angola, in which they won 116-48, Charles got into a physical altercation with a member of Angola towards the end of the game, afterwards he says, “Somebody hits me, I’m going to hit him back. Even if it does look like he hasn’t eaten in a couple weeks. I thought he was going to pull a spear on me.”
2. After retiring from basketball: “I’m just what America needs – another unemployed black man.
1. After throwing a guy through a 1st floor window in a bar Charles was in front of the judge.
Judge: “Your sanctions are community service and a fine, do you have any regrets?”
Charles: “Yeah I regret we weren’t on a higher floor”