Durex Wants To Introduce The Condom Emoji And Ruin Every Sexting Exchange Ever

Venture- We have a slew of emojis for indirectly insinuating fornication so why not have one that conveys safe sex? That’s the impetus behind Durex’s new condom emoji campaign. Today, the condom maker is launching a condom emoji to keep safe sex on the minds of copulating youth. Durex’s campaign is partly due to a study that says 18-25 year olds aren’t concerned with safe sex. According to the study commissioned by Durex, more than a third of sexually active young people think that they will never be affected by HIV and have thus adopted a more lax attitude toward having unprotected sex. That behavior has had serious consequences, resulting in a rise in the number of HIV cases in certain areas of the United States. The study also notes that the overwhelming majority of people in this demographic feel more comfortable talking about sex via emoji. No surprise there. “Emojis of this sort will enable young people to overcome embarrassment around the discussion of safe sex, encourage conversation and raise awareness of the importance of using condoms in protecting against sexually transmitted infections (STIs), including HIV and AIDS,” said Durex marketing director Karen Chisholm in a statement.

Well that’s some bullshit. The quickest was to ruin a sexting exchange is to bring in a condom emoji.  Sexting is so much better when it’s wet and wild and there’s no protection whatsoever.  Maybe a little risky?  Absolutely and that’s part of the fun.  Maybe we’ll be fine and maybe we’ll end up like Charlie Sheen.  Sometimes you just gotta roll those dice of life and see what happens. The message Durex is trying to send is a good one I suppose. They’re thinking that a condom emoji is a good way to introduce safe sex in a way that today’s youth understands. Theoretically correct. I’m saying it’s the wettest blanket possible you can throw onto a sexting exchange. Everything will be going well. Peaches and eggplants and awkward phrasing because you don’t know what to say then BAM condom emoji and it’s limp dick city. The exchange won’t feel the same after that.  Condoms ruin everything both in real life and in texting. Not to mention have you ever tried to watch a porn where the guy is wearing a condom? Hard pass. Here’s an irrational thought: If nobody wears condoms and everybody has diseases then nobody has diseases and it’s all good. It’s called science.