Coldplay Is Your Super Bowl Halftime Show And You Have My Personal Guarantee It's Going To Be Great
US - Set your “Clocks,” because Coldplay is set to be the 2016 Super Bowl Halftime headliner! The British rock band, which features Chris Martin, Guy Berryman, Jonny Buckland, and Will Champion, has signed on to perform at the annual sporting event’s 50th anniversary, multiple sources confirm exclusively to Us Weekly. Insiders add that 2013 performer Bruno Mars will also be involved in the show in some capacity, as will other “friends of the group.” Despite previous reports, Maroon 5 and Taylor Swift are not scheduled to take the stage at this time.
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You know what I’ve learned from my 27 years on Earth? A ton of people would rather say the “cool” thing to say rather than say how they actually feel. And that’s why a lot of people pretend not to like Coldplay, because of the “you know how I know you’re gay” joke from 40 Year Old Virgin. But in reality, Coldplay is really good, put on an extraordinary live show, and have a ton of hits. I threw that out there on the Twitter and got a lot of people backing me up, and not in the Portnoy “1 out of 100 people agree, let me RT them” way, but people saying “yea, it’s kind of annoying that people pretend not to like Coldplay, we should stop doing that as a society”. You can’t look at me in the eyes as an honest man and tell me The Scientist, Viva La Vida, Clocks, Speed of Sound, and so many more songs aren’t jams.
And the thing is, Chris Martin is one of those music genius people. He’s going to make sure this halftime show knocks it out of the park. Everything Chris Martin touches turns to gold. So if you genuinely, honestly, no joke about it, dislike Coldplay, you have my guarantee you’ll watch the halftime show and be like “ok, that was dope”. That’s how I felt about Bruno Mars. I don’t care much for him, but he still put on a great show.
PS #1: Kanye is definitely going to come out and do Homecoming with Chris Martin, no doubt right?
PS #2: Chris Martin fucked Jennifer Lawrence. Some of those fappening pictures were allegedly sent to him.