Wiping Techniques And A Literary Lesson Highlight This Edition Of P-hub Comments Of The Week

Phub-COTW

If it’s Friday, it’s Top Pornhub Comments of the Week. A time to take a quick glance into the darkest and most perverted corners of the internet and realize that sure, we may not be perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but at least we’re not commenting on internet porn. And that within itself is a major victory. So let’s just get right into it, shall we?

beef-stroganoff
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Credit where credit is due… that’s just an A+ joke.

bitches
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Your friendly reminder that all girls are bitches and will rip out your heart at one point or another.

butt-juice
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Uhhhhh pretty sure that’s just shit, dude.

team-america-gif

it-me
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Hey, it me!

make-money
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Seems pretty legit to me. Sidenote: What ever happened to that one commenter here that was always talking about some sick deals on some Honda Civics or shit like that? I need to talk some business with him.

mice-and-men
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Real talk, that’s pretty much all you need to know about Of Mice And Men. Tmania could print out this screenshot, hand it in to his teacher and get a B+ minimum. Didn’t realize these perverts were such big John Steinbeck fans.

open-house
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I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again… if you’re a real estate agent and you’re looking to flip some houses, allowing it to be used as a porn set is the new Open House.

squirting
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Turns out if a girl has ever peed in your presence before, you made her squirt. So good for you, stud.

the-more-you-know

trap
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its-a-trap

Speaking of Star Wars, count this as your Bonus Bizarro for the week. In the 2 weeks leading up to the release of The Force Awakens, sales of the Star Wars porn parody “Star Wars XXX” have gone up 500%. Buncha horny pervert nerds.

wiping
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Real talk, the only way to wipe your ass is to be sitting down, a slight cheek lift off the seat, reach around and wipe from sack-to-crack. Anything else and you’re a psychopath. Unless it’s just a quick crack-to-sack for the finishing touches. But still, if you have to stand up you’re doing it wrong.

And thus concludes this week in freaks. As always, feel free to send any comments you come across to @BarstoolJordie on Twitter because it makes my life a whole lot easier if I don’t have to sift through all this bizarro alone. Hope everyone has themselves a great weekend and remember to stay sexy out there, ya dirty scoundrels.