Charlie Sheen Vows To Find A Cure For HIV, Apparently Forgot That Magic Johnson Exists

360- Actor Charlie Sheen has spoken out at about his HIV-positive diagnosis in a recent interview, promising to find a cure for the disease. “I’m really clear, really good, positively focused. It was such a tremendous weight lifted off my shoulders when I made the announcement,” Sheen said in an interview with The National Enquirer. “I realized afterwards, I wish I had possibly done it sooner. As we’ll discuss, there were a lot of different elements in the mix that prevented me from doing that.” The Anger Management star revealed that the disease never kept him down, and that he’s working hard to find a cure. “It was shortly afterwards — I think it was the second day — I said to my mom, ‘This disease picked the wrong guy.’ If anybody can fight this thing and discover a cure, it’s me. I will exhaust every resource available to me. I will sit with every expert. I will move forward until something’s revealed. If there’s a cure out there, I will find it and share it. You have my word.”

Tough talk from Charlie!  Staring HIV in the face and saying he’s gonna kick it’s ass.  Saying things like, “You picked the wrong guy, HIV!”  No, Charlie.  You picked the wrong guy. Furthermore, Magic Johnson already did this.  That guy has been HIV-positive for like 50 years now.  He’s still around.  He’s still out there tweeting up a storm. Magic has stayed alive so long after his HIV diagnosis that I forget he even has it sometimes. Like, normally, that’s the headline for a person if they have HIV.  That’s Charlie Sheen’s headline now.  He’s a guy with HIV. That’s the first thing you think of when his name is brought up. Not Magic. Magic’s headline is he tweets unintentionally funny stuff and he owns the Dodgers.  But back to Charlie curing HIV, this would be like if a guy came after Christopher Columbus and was like, “I’m gonna find America!  Just you watch.” Magic already did it.  I guess the one difference is that Sheen vows to share the cure once he finds it unlike Magic. Magic just keeps on living and we’re not sure how he’s doing it. But here’s the thing, Sheen already found the cure, too. It’s called money.  Charlie Sheen is rich so he’s gonna pull through and live a mostly normal life despite being HIV-positive. If he were poor we’d already be watching him wither away. Charlie found the cure and it was in the form of Two and a Half Men syndication.