Ranking The Best Hockey Movie Jerseys There Ever Were
It’s been a while since I’ve written a blog about hockey movies. Probably a solid few weeks, I’d say. But earlier today one of the greatest sweaters of all time was brought back to my attention and since real hockey sucks at the moment with Team USA not winning gold at the World Juniors and the Flyers finally crashing back to reality, I figured why not indulge in a little fake hockey talk to take our minds off of all of it. Starting with Mystery Alaska up top. I don’t think this sweater is good enough to crack the top 10 but it definitely deserves a spot in the honorable mention. It’s simple, classy and understated. Not much to it but sometimes less is more. Wouldn’t expect any less from that bag of dicks Russell Crowe.
10. Hamilton Mustangs | Youngblood
Now this may just be the Detroit Red Wings logo with a worse logo. But if it’s good enough for Rob Lowe and Keanu Reeves, it’s good enough for me. You can never go wrong with an Original 6 sweater.
9. Nuggets | MVP
I know that a lot of people in Boston hated the Pooh Bear jersey. But personally, I loved the hell out of it. Maybe that was just because it reminds me of the Ray Bourque glory days, but it’s just such a perfect 90s sweater. Plus I always have a soft spot for monkeys wearing people clothes so this jersey had to make the cut somewhere.
8. Hawks | Mighty Ducks
Just a classic Bad Boys jersey. Black and blue, crazy font, bad boy logo. I think a lot of what makes this jersey so great is who has worn it before. Bombay was a Hawk. Banks was a Hawk. Then you also have that scumbag kid and Coach Riley. Two of the best that ever played and two of the biggest dickheads ever. A wide variety of characters have donned the Hawks colors.
7. Syracuse Bulldogs | Slap Shot
I’ll be honest, I just love this because it’s a Flyers jersey. But still. The Syracuse Bulldogs were meant to be the baddest group of dudes ever assembled on ice. And in real life, that was the Broad Street Bullies. They won Stanley Cups, they beat the shit out of the Soviet Red Army so bad that they left the ice before the game was over, they were just a bunch of savages. So the choice to go with a Flyers jersey for the Bulldogs couldn’t have been any better.
6. Delaware Demons | H-E Double Hockey Sticks
Okay so this may be where I lose a lot of you. But you’re only playing yourself if you don’t think that jersey kicks ass. You’re also lying to yourself if you say you’re not interested in watching a hockey movie featuring Eric Matthews and Jack Hunter from Boy Meets World. Now if only we could find a way to turn that sexy little minx Topanga into a puck bunny, we’ll really be talking.
5-3 Mighty Ducks, Team USA, District 5 Ducks | The Mighty Ducks
I’m not here to mince any words. When it comes to hockey movie jerseys, The Mighty Ducks reign supreme. The actual Mighty Ducks jersey they wore in the end of D2 were one of the best jerseys to ever bless the NHL. The fact that the Ducks had to move away from that sweater is one of the biggest tragedies the league has ever incurred. As for the Team USA jersey? Well I’d love nothing more than for Hendrix Hockey to become a real company and actual sponsor the real Team USA so we can see these puppies in action again. Like if USA busts those sweaters out for the World Cup this summer, I will JIZZ EVERYWHERE.
2. Charlestown Chiefs | Slap Shot
I couldn’t decide which Chiefs jersey I like better. The white or the blue. I think I go with the home whites especially because you can see blood on that jersey a little better. But regardless, there’s nothing more classic than a good old fashion Chiefs jersey. I don’t know if it’s just a Philly thing or not but you can never go to a Flyers game without seeing at least one Chiefs jersey. And typically people who wear random jerseys to games can kick rocks, but I’ll never not be excited to see one of these bad boys.
1. Trinidad And Tobago | The Mighty Ducks
I don’t think that the Trinidad And Tobago jerseys are the best jerseys in hockey movie history. I don’t think that the Trinidad And Tobago jerseys are the best jerseys in hockey history in general. I think that the Trinidad And Tobago jerseys are the best jerseys in all of sports history. There’s literally never been anything better. Sure, the team sucked. What would you expect out of a Caribbean hockey team? Obviously they were going to suck. But there’s not any other bench in the world that I’d rather be a part of. Every time they score, it’s a party. And if they get that hype just for the Junior Goodwill Games, imagine how wild they get when the senior team scores. Bet they have bitches just getting ass naked in the bench whenever they score. And the jerseys just symbolize everything they stand for. They are beautiful.