Marco Rubio Wants To Roll On E At A Techno Concert

…

(CNN)Marco Rubio is a West Coast hip-hop kind of guy. But he can’t listen to that stuff with his kids around.

So on the campaign trail, he’s swapped out rappers like Tupac and NWA for Calvin Harris and Avicii.

“Over the last couple years, I’ve gotten really interested into electronic dance music. So, Avicii, Calvin Harris,” Rubio told CNN’s Alisyn Camerota on Tuesday when grilled about his music choices.

…

Finally a candidate I can relate to a little bit, someone with a little bit of a human side and not just an evil political robot that gets plugged in and charged up and reprogrammed with updated talking points every night. Marco Rubio “really interested” in dropping E and rolling face all over a gigantic field somewhere while bass thumps at 1,000,000 decibels and the drop hits so hard it shakes your brain against your skull. Can we get his wife in some of those skin tight high waisted gold spandex shorts and tiny neon tanktop with the high fuzzy boots that every single girl in the world wears to these things?

If so I think my vote could be locked up.