God is Real: Atheist Arian Foster to be Released as Christian Kirk Cousins Signs Huge Extension

Well I guess you can chalk this one up in the Christ column for the good lord, because on this day in March its morning and evening for two very different players. You know who else rose on the third day? Thats right, Jesus Christ. There are no coincidences in life, and you almost have to just sit back and smile as Christian Kirk Cousins signed a $19.95 million dollar tender with the Redskins and within minutes Foster, the 29 year old athiest, was informed of his impending release by the Texans. Have to think that maybe if Foster had spent as much time praying as he did not playing hed understand that real sacrifice comes from putting your body on a cross, not a operating table.

The love of Jesus Christ is a condom for your soul, and God turned Fosters own body into a Trojan horse since he wasnt using the proper Lifestyle. Kind of ironic how Fosters Achilles Heel was literaly his Achilles heel, and he was bested today by a actual Spartan. Maybe instead of doing all that yoga, Foster should of put on a crucifix & weight vest and tried Cross Fit.

In life its important to remember that in life, were all Free Agents. We could have our annual Houston holdouts and become a literal money-changer by demanding to convert future salary into signing bonuses, or we can follow in the footsteps of the original coaches son- Jesus Christ and gain immortality. Get nailed to the cross to save humanty was the ultmate hometown discount. Cousins actions goes to show you that just because your blonde haired and blue eyed doesnt mean you have to act like an Arian.

PS is Kirk joining the PC police here by refusing to say the word “Redskins?” Something to keep a eye on.

Double PS

Foster: How come theres only one set of footprints in the sand here?

God: Thats where you were pretending to be hurt again and I had better things to do. Outie 5000.