The Latest Edition Of Ocean NOPE Features A Fish With Wings And Neon Green Eyes

CBC- A fishing trawler off the coast of Newfoundland recently hauled up a creature from the depths of the ocean that made even experienced fishermen do a double take. Scott Tanner was on board when crews pulled up the fish — which looks somewhat like a bird, with a long, pointy snout, bright neon green eyes, and ribbed fins that resemble feathered wings. “All the production stopped and everything so everybody could check it out,” he said. “Even the older guys that are 50, 60 years old, they’ve seen maybe one in their lifetime so they thought it was pretty neat and I snapped a couple pictures.” It wasn’t until Tanner got back home to Nova Scotia that he looked up what species the fish might be. He believes it is a longnose chimaera, a deepwater species rarely caught. ? 

Ho hum.  Another day. Another dollar. Another fish monster gets spit out of the ocean and shoved in front of our faces.  This is a new one. The fucking thing has wings. Pick a spot to live, pal. Land or ocean. Can’t be both. My ocean nightmares are bad enough without thinking things can fly outta the ocean and eat my face. Who are the guys who willingly go out there, catch a demon spawn like that and then pose for pictures with it? Even though it’s clearly dead laying on that table I wouldn’t be shocked at all for it to have more lives than Michael Myers. Spring up outta nowhere and murder everyone on board. I won’t be convinced it’s really dead until they chop it up and burn it. Even then it’ll still exist when I close my eyes.  The cherry on top is the neon green eyes. #TeamNukeTheOcean rolls on. Undefeated. Get on the right side of history before it’s too late.