The FDA Is Saying People Shouldn't Eat Cookie Dough Ever Again So Fuck The FDA

Fox News- Every cookie dough lover knows eating the stuff raw is risky because uncooked eggs could result in salmonella exposure. But the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) is adding extra weight to that risk after reporting an outbreak of sicknesses linked to flour used in various dough. That raw flour may contain a bacteria called Shiga toxin-producing E. coli O121, the agency said in an advisory issued Tuesday. The FDA pointed out in its warning that some flour brands have recalled their products, but that consumers may not realize raw dough used in children’s crafts— like clay kids commonly play with while waiting for their food at restaurants— still poses a health risk. The FDA has advised restaurants and schools against allowing children to play with raw dough, and for fans of cookie dough ice cream to buy the treat from a manufacturer rather than make it from scratch.

Fuck y’all. Nobody tells me to stop eating raw cookie dough. Nobody. Not even the FDA. The FDA could tell me that eating raw cookie dough will make my dick smaller than it is and I would still scarf it down at every opportunity. Oh raw cookie dough is gonna kill me? Fine. I’ll die the happiest fucking guy on the planet. Because a life without cookie dough isn’t a life worth living. I’m not even saying I eat cookie dough all the time. But when cookie dough is presented to me? I eat it until I’m about to puke. Cookie dough is better than actual cookies. Way better actually. And now the FDA has the balls to say we can’t eat it cause it might kill us? Whatever dude. Everything is killing us at all times. I could walk outside right now and get hit by a bus. If that happened I would die happy knowing I never turned down cookie dough. Not to mention I’ve been eating cookie dough my entire life and I’m just fine. Get outta my face, FDA. You will not rob me of this joy. Not now. Not ever.