Macaulay Culkin Grants First Interview In A Decade, Says He Wasn't "Pounding Six Grand Of Heroin A Month"

The Guardian – 35-year-old Macaulay Culkin doesn’t do this sort of thing any more, having turned his back on the spotlight. “I don’t just turn my back, I actively don’t want it. The paps go after me because I don’t whore myself out.” He has spent a decade turning down interviews, and mostly lives in France, where the aloof Parisians leave him alone…

…“I was not pounding six grand of heroin every month or whatever. The thing that bugged me was tabloids wrapping it all in this weird guise of concern. No, you’re trying to shift papers.”

So 35-year-old(!!!) Kevin McCallister has come out of the shadows and into the light. Good for him. The interview kind of bounces around everywhere, but the one thing that caught my attention was Caulkin claiming he was never strung out on herion. Um…I’m not saying ya were, pal, but the eye in the sky doesn’t lie. Here’s a pic of Macaulay during his lost years:

Now if that’s not the Lord Of The Smack then I don’t know who is. Hopefully Maculaakly has come a long way since his Rickety Cricket days, but that photo gets me every time. The dude looks like he was about to star in Homeless Alone: Lost In Central Park After Dark. The entire plot revolved around a strung out Kevin McCallister protecting his precious 5×5 real estate under a bridge but above the coveted warm venting sewer grate. Just him making shanks out of Christmas ornaments and blowing the Wet Bandits for coke. The movie ends when the bird lady starts sodomizing Joe Pesci with some turtle doves cause Marv stole her cans. So, yeah, whatever ya say, Kev.

I’m glad to see he’s healthier, I guess. And look what else he’s doing with his life – Eating slices for the masses. Somehow he is still the 2nd creepiest pizza content provider on the Internet.