In Honor Of Amare Stoudemire Signing With Hapoel Jerusalem Because He's Fake Jewish - The Most Under Appreciated Sports Stories In History

Shalom and shana tovah, Amare! Mazel. It was a great career and by great I mean flashes of greatness, flashes of embarrassment, some unreached potential and a lot of fucking money. Which, all in all, is a pretty great life. Amare did some things in his days with the Steve Nash Suns that were pretty under appreciated. He spent some time with the Knicks that was probably overrated. But hands DOWN, the most underrated and best part of Amare’s career was when he became Jewish.

Maybe its just because I’m a Knicks fan, or maybe its just because I’m in New York and came up with Barstool Sports where I was just constantly surrounded by Jews, but the “Amare Stoudemire Has Decided Hes A Jew storyline” is one of the most under appreciated stories in sports history. Giant 6 foot 10 black man just up and decides one day that he likes how the Chosen’s roll and tosses on a Yarmulke and calls it a day on being Gentile. Its straight out of the Dave Chappelle Racial Draft. His mom was sort of Hebrew or some shit so he just made the call. Incredible. The fact that this wasnt a bigger deal when it first broke always blew my mind. I felt like I was the only one appreciating the fact that Amare Stoudemire has just MADE UP the fact that hes Jewish.

So in honor of STAT heading back to the Homeland and playing for his Jew team, I present the most under appreciated story lines in sports history:

Ken Griffey Jr trying to commit suicide by swallowing 277 Aspirin

NESN – Griffey, the eldest son in a famous baseball family, was 18 years old in January 1988. He and his father, Ken Griffey Sr., whom he later played alongside with the Seattle Mariners, frequently didn’t see eye to eye. That became a problem for the younger Griffey, who described himself as “real stubborn” in the Times article, especially once he moved away from home after becoming a professional athlete as a teenager. “It seemed like everyone was yelling at me in baseball, then I came home and everyone was yelling at me there,” Griffey recalled, according to the article. “I got depressed. I got angry. I didn’t want to live.” Griffey ended up in intensive care after swallowing the surplus of aspirin, which he told The Seattle Times was the only time he acted on his suicidal thoughts despite previously thinking about killing himself “with my father’s gun or something.” According to Griffey, he revealed the shocking story in the hopes of dissuading others from considering suicide as a potential solution to their problems. “The problem was with me and my father,” Griffey told The Seattle Times in 1992. “I’m smarter than most people think I am, although what I did was not smart. I knew what I had done and got over it. There weren’t any deep problems with me afterwards.”

Wait, what??? BANANAS how little this story is talked about. One of the greatest baseball players of all time, the most influential and stylish Big Leaguer off the field maybe ever, The Kid, once ate almost THREE HUNDRED aspirin when he was 17 trying to kill himself? And never one single peep about it. How that hasnt been its own 30 for 30 yet, I will never understand.

The Yankees Pitchers Who Swapped Wives

Fort Lauderdale, Fla., March 5, 1973 – Yankee pitchers Fritz Peterson and Mike Kekich disclosed today that they had exchanged families several months ago, Peterson moving in with Susanne Kekich and her two daughters, Kekich moving in with Marilyn Peterson and her two sons. The pitchers, in separate talks, said they had decided to reveal the arrangement because too many people knew about it. They thought it was time to clear the air and, the 31-year-old Peterson confided, they hoped that “you won’t make anything sordid out of this.” According to Kekich: “Unless people know the full details, it could turn out to be a nasty type thing. Don’t say this was wife-swapping, because it wasn’t. We didn’t swap wives, we swapped lives.”  The Yankees are aware of the situation and general manager Lee MacPhail said both pitchers asked not to be traded. However, Peterson said he had asked MacPhail to trade him “for personal reasons” back in January, but that MacPhail considered Peterson too vital. “I want to be where Fritz is,” Mike said, “that’s the only way I can be sure of seeing my daughters.”  As the story evolved, Kekich explain that it started with “a tremendous amount of affection and compatibility all around. After a while, it became apparent that Susanne and Fritz were ideally suited for each other.” Kekich and Marilyn (Chip) Peterson had a strong physical attraction for each other, “but we’re born under the same sign, we sometimes butt heads. She and I are on a higher pitch in our emotions.” Nevertheless, the four agreed to an arrangement. It began last July, with all four discussing the possibility of exchanging families. We had a fantastic, storybook relationship,” Kekich said of the two couples, “but we wanted to make sure we were going to have a great happiness.”

Long before reality TV was swapping wives, the New York Yankees were. And this story pops up every now and then on the blogosphere and its usually met with the reaction of “did this really fucking happen?” but I still dont think people really grasp it. I dont think they let it fully sink in. Imagine if Andy Pettitte and Jorge Posada decided to switch wives during the Yankees run? Imagine if that happened now. Imagine if Steph Curry and Klay Thompson were just like “Yup, we’re trading wives.” The sports world would IMPLODE. The memes, the jokes, the takes…it would be unlike anything we’ve ever seen before. I dream of a story like that breaking. And it actually happened in the 70s. Notified the team, the press wrote about it and all. They even talked about trading fucking kids!! Of course it all crashed and burned and ended in heart ache and drama. Whoever thought swapping women that you’ve fucked would go smoothly is absolutely insane. Chalk it up to some left over “Free Love” spirit from the 60s

AC Green Being A Virgin

Its my favorite sports story ever. How a man, living in Los Angeles, in the 1980s, playing for the Showtime Lakers, could keep his dick dry until the age of 38 is simply, truly, flat out, unbelievable. In recent years I feel like this story finally got the recognition it deserved. Will Ferrell and ESPN did that mock 30 for 30 “The Iron Virgin” but I still feel like people gloss over this reverse accomplishment/failure too much. Its more impressive than Cal Ripken and Joe Dimaggio’s streaks combined.

Muhammad Ali saving a dude from jumping off a building

Again one of those “could you imagine if this happened today???” Imagine if Lebron saved someone from committing suicide? That would be all we talk about for eternity. For Muhammad Ali this was just like a small story that resurfaced when he died.

Cory Lidle Crashing A Plane Into A Building A Dying

This one obviously not funny at all but holy shit what a horrendously bizarre set of circumstances for an athlete to die. Personal plane crash into the side of a building and it just gets like an afterthought in the baseball history books.

Mike Tirico Is Actually A White Guy From Queens

Post-Standard, The (Syracuse, NY)
May 30, 1991
Edition: Metro
Section: Living
Page: C1 

Local African-American groups often invite him to speak during Black History Month and on other occasions, viewing Tirico as a prominent example of a successful black professional. He doesn’t mind speaking, Tirico tells them, but he also lets them know a fact of his life: He’s not sure he’s black. “When people go around and say, ‘You are black’ – well, I don’t encourage it, but by the same token I don’t back off of it,” he says. “If you want to call me that, that’s fine. But, you know, in my whole family, there’s nobody I know who is black.” Raised in Queens Michael Todd Tirico grew up in a middle-class Italian family in Queens, about a five-minute drive from Shea Stadium. Tirico’s parents, Donald and Maria, were separated when he was about 4, and he says he has since lost contact with his father’s side of the family. Tirico is an only child. Because of his dark skin and ethnic features, Tirico says, most people assume he is black. But he’s seen pictures of his father, his father’s mother and his father’s sister – all of whom are white, Tirico says. “The only contact I had growing up was with my mom’s side of the family. And they are all as white as the refrigerator I’m standing in front of right now,”

My number 1 favorite story of all time. Not even sports story. Just overall story. Mike Tirico says that his family is “white as the refrigerator” even though he’s been collecting all sorts of African American broadcasting awards his whole career. He’s Mikey Tirico, from Queens! Aye! Oh! I aint no mulignan, ok??? The greatest trick Mike Tirico ever pulled was letting the world think he was black.