Australian Vandals Broke Into A School And Let Three Crocodiles Loose Inside
Time- A group of four vandals pushed three crocodiles through a broken window into a school office in Australia on Sunday, and now face a fine almost $40,000 for animal cruelty.
Security camera footage shows three saltwater crocodiles, with the largest about 6 ft. long, being propelled through a flap in the the office door window at Taminmin College in the northern town of Humpty Doo. The group of people, who appear to have their shirts wrapped around their heads, proceed to trash the office quickly before fleeing.
Wildlife rangers rescued the three crocodiles from the office and David Gregory, Senior Constable for the Northern Territory Police, said the animals were found with their mouths taped and not in great shape. “They haven’t seen water for a long time and are undernourished,” Gregory said. It’s unclear where the crocodiles came from and what motivated the vandals to drop them into a school office over the weekend, but rangers suspect they originated from a nearby crocodile farm. One ranger said they may have to be put down upon their return, the Australian AP reports.
A few thoughts on this ridiculousness. First off, this is just another example of Australia being an absolutely looney place to live. School pranks in America usually involve pulling fire alarms and maybe some water balloons. But crocodiles? And not only that, but saltwater crocs? Simply absurd. I feel like all saltwater creatures are just badder motherfuckers than freshwater because being in salt probably wears on every part of your skin and insides. So those crocs were probably already mean as fuck from living in a land filled with poisonous creatures and crazy Australians. Australia is like a less drug-induced crazy, but more traditional crazy version of Florida. And seeing those crocodiles’ eyes in night vision gave me the heeby jeebies.
However, if you live in a town called Humpty Doo, you have to expect that people are not going to respect anything about that place. The schools, the police, the judicial system. Nada. If someone told me that they were going to throw me in the Humpty Doo prison, I would probably spit in their face and tell them to fuck off. And I’m a big dumb pussy. Aussies are cut from a different cloth. Naming a town Humpty Doo puts a giant target on its back.
As for the guys that pulled the prank, I can deal with most of the stuff based on it being in the dog-eat-dog country of Australia and in a town called Humpty fucking Doo. Granted these guys aren’t the brightest crayons in the box based on them throwing the crocs in the school before they broke into the school, all while going tits out for the boys.
But I can’t stand for the taping of the crocodiles mouths shut. If and when these guys are caught, they should be tied up for an hour with those tired, hungry crocs like (Game of Thrones Season 6 spoiler alert) was with his (another spoiler). If they survive, that’s fine and dandy. If not, that’s Aussie justice.
Aussie justice has to be a thing, right? That feels like a thing.