In Case You Missed It: August 29th -September 2nd
On any given day, there could beat least 75 new posts up on this goddamn website. Now granted, there are always some re-blogs and at least 20 wake ups/GTA’s/Smokeshow posts, but there’s still a shit ton that goes on every day. Between all those posts and listening to all the podcasts and trying to actually do a little bit of real work throughout your week, it’s easy to see how you would miss some things here and there. So that’s where In Case You Missed It comes in. A quick week in review on Friday afternoons highlighting the major stories from Monday-Friday for those of you who aren’t able to sit there and read every single post (or just wait for the second something is posted so you can be the first to comment about how shitty the blogger is).
Monday August 29
– You know that any week you get to start with video of Stevie Wonder trying to shoot a free throw is going to be a good week. However, I’m 100% on board with KFC on this one. A real blindo wouldn’t take that shot. Only a fake blindo would airball that hard on purpose just to make sure everybody believes he’s blind.
– Josh Donaldson had himself a 3-dinger Sunday and looks like he’s on pace to win back-to-back MVPs. But do hockey fans need enforcers to stop baseball fans from stealing our hat trick celebrations?
– You’ll never believe this but Anthony Weiner’s dick got him in trouble again. I one day hope to be as good at anything as Anthony Weiner is at getting caught sexting random girls.
– If a career as a professional football player doesn’t pan out for Blake Bortles, at least we know he has a long career ahead of him as an analyst.
Tuesday August 30: Happy Tim Tebow tryout Day. And more Tebow here. And more Tebow here.
- A chick beat herself up trying to make it look like her millionaire ex-fiance domestic violenced her proving one again that all women are fucking lunatics. Doesn’t matter who you are or how much money you have. Chicks are always going to try to ruin your life.
– The only people crazier than that girl are at the University of Missouri where researchers blinded beagle puppies with acid and then murdered them. Would anybody honestly care if we just wiped the state of Missouri off the map? Actually, would anybody even notice? Say we just get rid of Missouri tomorrow morning. How long do you think it would take for you to realize they were gone? A year? Two years? More?
– And the only person crazier than those researchers at Mizzou is Rodney Harrison who thought he could appropriate white culture by determining if Colin Kaepernick is black enough to be discriminated against. The nerve on that guy.
Wednesday August 31
– A tennis player threatening to put his balls in a heckler’s mouth is the key difference between the US Open and Wimbledon. Need more interactions like this if tennis is ever going to gain popularity. Give me guys purposely serving rockets into the crowd and pinpointing heckling douche bag fans. McEnroe would be proud.
– A McDonald’s employee was attacked for serving cold food and quite frankly, I don’t think that was punishment enough.
– Can toilet paper ever be too soft? Well if you’re some yuppie dickhead who wouldn’t know grit if it kicked you in the balls with a pair of steel-toe boots then the answer is no. But for all us regular Joe’s in the building, yes. You want to treat your asshole with respect, but you can’t go around wiping it with clouds.
– I watched this High Point Derby Days video about 5 times so far. It’s made me want to kill myself for not being in college anymore about 5 times so far.
Thursday September 1
– Some nerds are trying to crack down on military personnel using government credit cards for strip clubs. Ummmmm I’m sorry. But as long as these military personnel keep doing their best to prevent another major terrorist attack from happening in the US and continue to fight against ISIS overseas, then let them go to as many strip clubs as they want to go to. Let them stay for breakfast lunch and dinner for all I care. Fucking squids.
– Speaking of strip clubs, this crazy lady freaked the fuck out at her garbageman and then started to act like a chicken. Sorry for the Friday afternoon boner.
– For the 5th straight year, the Notre Dame Fighting Irish are predicted to have an undefeated season. Huge, if true.
– Speaking of ND, the University of North Dakota will be setting up separate dorms specifically for like-minded social justice warriors (read: pussies) this year. First they get rid of the nickname “Fighting Sioux”. Now they have special dorms for SJW. North Dakota is on the leading edge of assholery right now.
Friday September 2: That is today.
Smoke of the Week: Courtney from Appalachian State. Now I hope everybody has a fantASStic weekend.
