"Scary" Clowns Are Threatening To Shoot Up Philly Schools, Are Invading The Suburbs In Physical Form

PHILADELPHIA (WPVI) — Concern about several clown-themed social media threats targeting schools in Philadelphia is prompting action by school officials and police. Officials say threats similar to those reported in several states across the country have now surfaced in this area. Several specifically mention Philadelphia schools. “That’s disgusting. That’s very scary,” said Cathy Everett of South Philadelphia. “I think they’re very sick people,” said Teresa Anastasio of South Philadelphia.

Pottsville – Pottsville Police Chief Richard Wojciechowsky said there appeared to be more to a clown-related incident reported Monday evening in his borough, about 90 miles northwest of Philadelphia — but still no cause for alarm. “Two knuckleheads with clown-like clothes on” hopped out of a pickup truck and yelled at a group of young children and teenagers, the chief said. The Pennsylvania State Police are investigating recent unspecified clown sightings in the towns of Huntingdon and Ebensburg, where a woman said a clown peeped through her window. Trooper Adam Reed said citizens should “not confront the individual but rather gather information and report it to your local police.”

Real smart, assclowns. Anybody making terroristic threats about shooting up schools in 2016 will be taken seriously, arrested, and put up on charges. Anybody doing it from a creepy clown costume will be manhunted and exterminated from Earth. So, yeah, not the best play for these (hopefully just) pranksters causing a ruckus on Social Media. Their hearts are gonna get yanked out of their chests worse than It’s.

As for the idiots actually dressing up like clowns and accosting people in real life – Keep it up, hooligans. It’s all fun and games till you corner the wrong guy packing heat who had the childhood of Cosmo Kramer. There have been a lot of people murdered for less. Seriously. If “Stand Your Ground” is still considered a law in America then these things deserve to get the last gun in the bullet to the face. Anyone who dresses up as a clown has too many screws loose for society’s standards. Remember those creepy Krusty’s who just dressed up and went around asking to paint random windowsills in the UK awhile back?

Fuck the police. There needs to be one of those old school town mob uprisings with pitchforks and torches. Something on the level of when Frankenstein was hunted down or an average Tuesday night in the Jim Crow South. Pennywise here was the biggest threat to the those English kids since the Black Death tore through town. There’s no way you don’t touch and murder innocent children if you go up to random houses in full circus gear asking to paint windowsills without any painting equipment. Jerry Sandusky even thinks these dudes are extreme.