In Case You Missed It: October 10-14

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On any given day, there could beat least 75 new posts up on this goddamn website. Now granted, there are always some re-blogs and at least 20 wake ups/GTA’s/Smokeshow posts, but there’s still a shit ton that goes on every day. Between all those posts and listening to all the podcasts and trying to actually do a little bit of real work throughout your week, it’s easy to see how you would miss some things here and there. Even if you’ve signed up for the BARSTOOL SPORTS RANDOM THOUGHTS NEWSLETTER (sign up here), there are still some posts that just fall through the cracks. So that’s where In Case You Missed It comes in. A quick week in review on Friday afternoons highlighting the major stories from Monday-Friday for those of you who aren’t able to sit there and read every single post (or just wait for the second something is posted so you can be the first to comment about how shitty the blogger is).

Monday October 10

– It’s crazy how much can change in one week. Because on Monday, we were asking the question “Did Kevin Bone Save The United States of America?”. For a while, the answer was a resounding yes. But today we’re talking about how he thought the murder of Trayvon Martin was justified and how he got a vasectomy so he could raw dog chicks. It’s like they always say… never check your hero’s internet history.

Intern Tex checked in with possibly the worst halfcourt shot attempt in human history. Love the confidence to think he could just spot up and drain it without a running start though.

– Important Question: could the Browns beat the Patriots if they had Tom Brady? Better hope Brady builds up a huge 1st half lead because I can’t remember the last Browns quarterback to make it through 3 quarters healthy.

The persecution and oppression of males continue as this pharmacy is forcing men to pay an additional 7% Man Tax. Just because we have dick and balls doesn’t mean that we’re not people too. Say it aloud! I’ve got a dong and I’m proud!

Tuesday October 11

Obama says that we’ll be on Mars by 2030. Must be nice to be Obama right now. He can pretty much just saw whatever the fuck he wants because he knows he only has a few more months on the job. Just throwing around nonsense like this. It’s ultimate Mailtime for Barry O. Fuck Mars, by the way.

– “Greg Hardy will now be getting paid to beat up men, will still be beating women for free” – I bet everybody on your social media feeds thought they were the only person to make that joke when they found out Greg Hardy will now be training to fight MMA.

I could watch Chaps take a bath all day long. Seductive. Sultry. Handsome as a devil. DOWNLOAD THE APP.

– I honestly don’t know what else needs to happen for everybody to realize that Tim Tebow is the second coming of Christ. He’s out here saving people who are having seizures, and we still have non-believers.

Wednesday October 12

Don’t you just hate when your wife beats you because your dick is too big? Happens all the damn time. Literally the worst.

– Barstool Sports [dot] com is now looking for a new head of content after David “Pageviews” Portnoy was brutally murdered by Roney Baby The Prince. 

Jim Harbaugh ordering a big ass glass of milk with his steak from Ruth’s Chris is a move straight out of the Charlie Kelly playbook of life.

Auston Matthews made his NHL debut on Wednesday night. He had not 1, not 2, not 3… but 4 goals. Is that good? I don’t know. Hockey is lame and not a real sport so I’m not sure if 4 goals is anything too crazy or not.

Thursday October 13

This man is the coldest dude in the game and stuffed this poor little nerd contestant into a locker for the rest of eternity…. Who is Alex Trebek?

– You’ll never believe this but maybe Donald Trump isn’t quite the stand-up citizen that we all thought he was.

– This throwback to Big Cat’s craigslist Pirate Gang blog is well worth revisiting.

RIP Nate At Night. So many great memories that I’ll never forget. Especially that one episode with James vanRiemsdyk. For my money, that was the best episode of all time.

Friday October 14: That is today.

Smokeshow of the Week: Moriah from SDSU. Good god.

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@BarstoolJordie