Throwback - Reader Email: Jerking Off At Work…What’s the Ruling?

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Classic throwback from El Pres in today’s newsletter. Reminder to sign up for Random Thoughts so you don’t miss out on these in your inbox every morning.

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Reader Email

What’s the ruling about stroking it at work? My brother thinks I’m a sociopath for doing it but my friends and I all do it at our respective offices. For all the cube monkeys out there… am I a sex offender or just another guy trying to get through the day?

Sincerely,

Confused

No I do not believe it’s okay to jerk off at work. Yes I think that makes you a sex offender. But that may just be the boss in me talking. Because truth be told I used to work at this little Indian High Tech consulting company with my first job out of college. They just stuck me in my own office with a computer and a phone book. Nobody would check in on me all day. I’d just sit there twiddling my fingers looking for shit to do. So naturally I jerked off a couple times, but that wasn’t my fault. They literally gave me no choice. I was bored out of my fucking mind. That’s actually how I came up with the idea for Barstool originally. I had so much time to think I was like a mad scientist in there. I couldn’t help it if a few frozen ropes slipped out in the process. BUT having said that I always thought I was in the extreme minority of having that type of seclusion. In most cube farms I don’t see how you’d even begin to think about rubbing one out. Although I guess it wouldn’t shock me if Hank was cranking it in our bathroom. Granted he’s not exactly the standard bearer for office ethics. Either way I still say you’re a psycho.

Let’s throw it to the Stoolies

Vote 1 for yes you’ve beaten off at work and 10 for sex offender city

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