After The Cubs Won The World Series, Theo Epstein Ate A Fucking Goat In The Left Field Bleachers At Wrigley
The Chicago Cubs are World Series champions. The 108-year drought is over. The curse is dead. And Cubs President of Baseball Operations Theo Epstein ate a fucking goat.
Theo Epstein and his team have said they didn’t give much thought to that superstitious billy goat curse. But when the president of Chicago Cubs operations returned from Cleveland with the World Series championship, he made an interesting request. Epstein asked some restaurant friends to deliver something special for lunch: a roasted goat.
“We were on the phone with Jed. He was recapping the game, and in the background, Theo says he wanted roasted goat for lunch,” restaurateur Kevin Boehm said, referring to Jed Hoyer, the Cubs’ executive vice president and general manager. “I said we’d make it happen.”
For Epstein’s executive team, Izard oven-roasted a 9 1/2 pound goat. Boehm, Katz, and Boka Vice President Ian Goldberg delivered it to Epstein. “They were all sitting in the left-field bleachers in an empty Wrigley Field. They ate it right there,” said Boehm, who described the lunch as one of last week’s many moments of wonder.
This is why Theo Epstein is the fucking man. We all know his resume by now — he broke the 86-year curse with the Red Sox in 2004, put an exclamation point on his legacy in Boston with another ring in 2007, came to Chicago with a boatload of expectations after the 2011 season, established a five-year plan, and built the team that won the Cubs’ first World Series title since 1908, almost five years to the day that he walked in the door. Aside from all of that, what’s great about Theo is that he feels what you feel as a fan.
Theo’s not a punch the clock guy. He’s not there to work 9 to 5, collect a paycheck, and go about his life outside of baseball. He’s actually a noted psychopath when it comes to how competitive he is as a baseball executive. This story is from 2003, after the Yankees signed free agent pitcher Jose Contreras.
As Yankees GM Brian Cashman put it, “we were told by both the player and the agent that they wanted this negotiation concluded before Christmas, and that Contreras wanted to be a Yankee. Obviously, we’re happy to have him.”
Upon learning of Contreras’ decision, Boston GM Theo Epstein reportedly broke a window and a door in the same Managua hotel. Team spokesman Kevin Shea denied the incident ever occurred. But, according to the New York Daily News, Epstein broke a chair during the winter meetings in Nashville after realizing free agent Edgardo Alfonzo had chosen the Giants over the Red Sox.
This is the guy that you want calling the shots for your organization. The Red Sox look worse and worse by the day for letting him go. This is what’s so great about Theo — he cares just as much as the fans, if not more. During the postseason, you can see him sitting in the stands, reacting to plays just like any other Cubs fan would. And on some barbaric ancient times shit, after Theo slayed the Curse of the Billy Goat, he ripped out the heart of his nemesis and ate it. If that’s not the most badass shit you’ve heard all day, then I’ve gotta hear the story that topped it.