Naked Man Has His Dick Out At Mormon Church On The Hunt For A Wife

LOGAN, Utah (AP) — Authorities say a man in northern Utah was arrested after he was caught wandering naked on the grounds of a Mormon temple and told police he was looking for a wife.
The Herald-Journal newspaper in Logan reports that 53-year-old Kelly Thayne Archibald dropped a blanket around his waist and climbed the gate of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints temple in Logan on Nov. 13. Police say he told investigators that he was naked because that’s how he entered the world.

Telling the cops that you are naked because that’s how you entered the world is next level logic. Can’t argue with that at all. I mean, you really gotta hand it to this longtime Stoolie. Going dick out at the Mormon Temple looking for a wife is a fantastic strategy. Lots of unmet sexual tension there. Plenty of women and men in that bad boy who have never fucked before. Sometimes if you let the fish see the worm, they’ll swallow it whole. (talkin bout blow jobs, folks)

His problem is that if you go to church naked, you can’t be climbing stuff. Show off your dick as much as you want in the Temple but you can’t be showing your taint as you haphazardly climb a fence. That’s disgusting. Just as much as you drawing them in with your penis swaying in the wind like some tall grass on a golf course, you are pushing them away with your stretched butt hole in the air like the Batman signal. It’s a mixed messaged and the authorities won’t stand for it. The story didn’t say if he found a wife or not but I just assume that he did. Happy for him and his new bride.