The Toledo Walleye (ECHL) Rocky Uniforms Belong In The Art Museum
I blogged these jerseys a few weeks ago when the Toledo Walleye first announced that they’d be wearing them. I believe my exact words were to the extent of
“This is the type of jersey that you sleep in. The type of jersey that you wear to a wedding or any other formal occasion. The type of jersey you get buried in when you finally die. Rocky. Hockey. Makes me feel all tingly near my cocky.”
And that was just after seeing a concept design of the jersey. But now that we have photographic evidence of the full uniform in action? Well let me tell ya. Blood has rushed toward my penis causing it to become hardened and erect. That’s science talk for “having a boner”. The jersey itself is nothing to write home about, if we are being perfectly honest with one another. But then you get to the pants and the socks and it’s truly a life changing experience.
A couple of things here–I think that 1) all hockey socks should have that lace design on them. Just a real classy look and it’s better than throwing actual skate laces on your socks (sorry, Feits). And then 2) Team USA neeeeeeds to work those pants into their uniforms for the next Olympics or World Cup or whatever the NHL decides to play in. Those bad boys are as about as American as taking advantage of the working middle class. So yeah, this uniform belongs at the Art Museum, right next to the statue. The greatest athlete who never lived and the greatest gimmick uniform these eyes have ever seen.