I REALLY Hope Norm MacDonald Wasn't Stupid Enough To Bet $400K (Everything He Had) On The Atlanta Falcons Moneyline In The '97 SB (They Were 7.5 Pt Dogs)

Just a dumb, amateur hour wager. No, not risking everything outside (and including) your soul on a football game, but you can’t make that much at stake on the clearly inferior team. I don’t care if the Falcons just upset the 15-1, Randall Cunningham led Vikings in the NFC Championship game. The Broncos were that much better and it was a fanatically idiotic bet. However, I simply don’t buy it, Norm. The key example to calling Norm MacDonald’s bullshit: He doesn’t remember the line from the game. The Falcons were actually +7.5, which is bad enough to bet your life on the moneyline to begin with, but Norm thought it was around +12. Nope. Don’t buy it. I remember every loss, bad beat, and fist up the ass from my entire gambling career. And believe me, there have been plenty to the point where my mind and sphincter are both damaged beyond repair. The last time I put my “Life Savings” (aka whatever I had at the time in my Bodog account – RIP) was on unstoppable USC vs Vince Young’s Texas Longhorns. USC was a LOCK going into that game, and I can recall every single detail of that buttfuckery. From Reggie Bush for some reason pulling a LATERAL ON A PUNT RETURN to Vince Young whipping out his dick and ending careers, dynasties, and lives on the final drive, I’ll never forget anything in that game. It’s just the way gamblers are wired. The losses stick out WAY more than the wins. So for Norm to fiddle around a specific detail from that Super Bowl is questionable. If that much were truly at stake should personally know everything from what horse John Elway’s postgame smile looked like to what kind of hooker Eugene Robinson was looking to slay the night before.

But then again, Norm is good friends with Artie. Maybe he does indeed own balls of batshit to place that bet. Everything is on the table with that glorious mess.