I'd Be The Happiest Man In The World If I Found A Moose In My Basement

Out in Idaho and other parts of the American West, winter storms have dumped an unusual amount of snow all over the region. In some places, more than four feet of snow have accumulated, and collapsing buildings have become a real danger. The snow has also driven animals looking for food into towns, and over the weekend one unlucky moose accidentally stumbled into a basement in Hailey, Idaho.

The moose was not intending to sneak downstairs; he fell through a window well into the basement.

Senior Conservation Officer Alex Head, who has some experience getting moose out of homes, was called to the scene. As the Idaho Department of Fish and Game reports, he “attempted to herd to moose up the stairs and out the front door to freedom.”

I’d be absolutely tickled pink if I went into my basement and unbeknownst to me there was a moose just chillin his ass off in there. I’d be concerned with the broken glass but I would pet, and pet, and pet that moose until we became the most dynamic tandem of all time. I’d bet he’d like my long, smooth strokes.

The second picture makes this situation seem less ideal than the first. In the first picture, our big moose pal is straight up hanging out. He’s ready to party. Looking for friends and possibly to have a little s-e-x. The second picture makes having an uninvited moose guest look like it’s actually bad. I will admit that having moose poop on your carpet because you tranquilized that big majestic creature in your basement is problematic. Seems like it would be worth it in the long run but I’m not the one with moose scat on my rug. And believe you me…that’s fucking moose scat, folks.