Good News Knicks Fans: The Triangle Offense Is Back For The Rest Of The Season!

Mood:

Now I know you may be wondering why I am so happy that a fossilized offensive system is being brought back to my beloved Knickerbockers. Simple. There is no easier way to lose games and improve your draft position than by running an offense that doesn’t work and the players hate. Sixers fans have been chanting Trust The Process for years now. Well guess what? The Zen Master has the Triangle up his sleeve. I have never felt more comfortable about something in my life than the phrase Trust The Triangle. If you have stars like Michael Jordan, Scottie Pippen, Shaq, or Kobe, the triangle leads you to rings and trophies. If you have a shitty team that should have been broken down for parts at the trade deadline, the triangle leads you to a chance to win the lottery. An absolute win/win (as long as you don’t trade your first round pick for Eddy Curry or Andrea Bargnani). It still beats the fuck out of basketball purgatory, which is being good enough to be outside of the Top 7 of the lottery but being bad enough to miss the playoffs. Sure this may stop any free agent with talent and/or a brain from signing with the Knicks, but the mere presence of James Dolan and Phil Jackson probably already did that.

Print the shirts!!!

Point us to the promised land, General Jackson!

We’re coming for that assssssss, Orlando!!!

Oh yeah and if/when we actually try to start winning again, lets address this fucking nightmare.

Live look at the Knicks “defensive coordinator” after seeing that stat.