"Inappropriate Behavior" Leads To Less Bingo At A Holyoke Old Folks Home

HOLYOKE – Banging on doors, yelling, threatening to egg cars.

Frat house?

Nope — Holyoke Senior Center, at least according to one official.

“The Friday bingo mindset seems to infect people who behave rationally all other days of the week,” said Navae Fenwick Rodriguez, executive director of the Holyoke Council on Aging (COA).

“She’s putting that way out of hand. It’s not that bad,” said Lorraine Gorham, 77.

Allegedly bad behavior by senior citizens prompted Rodriguez to announce last week she was reducing the number of times bingo will be held at the Senior Center at 291 Pine St. to two Fridays a month from the current four a month. 

Gorham and others responded with calls to city councilors and circulation of a petition to ensure bingo stays available at the Senior Center four Fridays a month.

With echoes of fraternity house rowdiness, which was met with denials or skepticism, Rodriguez nonetheless said in an email sent to a city councilor that the clamor includes:

• seniors banging on doors of other rooms at the facility;

• sneaking people in for lunch when a ticket is required;

• being rude to staff and volunteers;

• leaving the room a mess;

• threatening to egg the vehicles of staff and volunteers upon learning bingo regularity was in jeopardy.

I’ve long heard that old folks homes were where the party was at but I think it’s time for me to take a closer look at this. Everyone knows they fuck at old folks homes (STDs are rampant in almost all of them according to a rumor I heard once) but I didn’t realize they party too. That’s the life, isn’t it? Fucking with nothing to do but mix up prune juice margaritas, play bingo, and get shit your pants drunk? It’d take that for the rest of my life right now and just shove cotton balls up my nose to deal with the constant smell of decaying flesh.

My only concern here is that the Holyoke old folks home is killing their residents? Because everyone knows that once you lose that last spark of passion you just die. These people are in a home, so they rarely see their grandkids or family anymore. Colombo is hardly ever on TV. All they’ve really got is this bingo game. It’s clearly something they’re concerned about if they’re fighting over seats and yelling at the CCD kids who volunteer to run these events. Take away this and they’re as good as dead. Some could say this is attempted murder but I won’t make a brash accusation like that.