Yahoo And AOL Will Be Known As "Oath" Once Verizon Officially Buys Them

Business Insider- When Verizon merges Yahoo with AOL after its acquisition of Yahoo closes, the newly created division will get a new name. That new name is Oath, sources tell Business Insider.

In a deal that was announced in July, Verizon will acquire Yahoo’s core internet business for about $4.8 billion in cash. Yahoo will be merged with Verizon’s AOL unit under Marni Walden, the executive vice president and president of product innovation and new businesses, with Verizon scooping up Yahoo’s search, mail, content, and ad-tech businesses.

AOL CEO Tim Armstrong confirmed the new name, posting on his Twitter account Monday afternoon: “Billion+ Consumers, 20+ Brands, Unstoppable Team. #TakeTheOath. Summer 2017.”

Grand opening, grand closing for Oath coming up! Seriously how do you take two of the most known (if not most washed up) tech names from the 90s, mash them together, and come up with the name Oath? I love Game of Thrones as much as the next person with a brain, but I don’t think you want to be using any of the old school jargon from the show for two websites known for being archaic and behind the times.

And that logo? I would expect that to be what the Dunder Mifflin Infinity logo to look like if Michael Scott was put in charge of the design. In fact, Oath actually sounds like and has the logo of the kind of company that would sell the Sabre Pyramid.

Now I wish these two beloved companies were dead and buried instead of being zombie companies in Oath. Actually I only loved one of these companies. I never really loved Yahoo. The search engine was pretty good before Google blew them off the map. Their fantasy games were great back in the day even though paying for Stat Tracker sucked. But those “YAHOOOOOOO!!!” commercials were sooooo fucking annoying and every new story I hear about Marissa Mayer makes me hate her and Yahoo a little more.

But AOL made me a man. It gave me access to things like Napster. It was a medium to pursue girls (even though those “girls” were probably guys acting like girls on the internet). It taught me what it felt like to be addicted to something. The phone bills at my parent’s house were in the hundreds during my peak internet addiction days. And I suppose my old AIM Away Messages and Buddy Profile were technically my first jump into blogging and I would pay AOL Oath almost an unlimited amount of money to get my archives of those. Oh yeah and my Buddy Icons. I had the sickest Buddy Icons back in the day. I think I retired my account with the Buddy Icon of Doc talking to Little Mac. It may not have helped me get any girls but it was still baller as fuck. Fuck I miss AIM.