Good News: Tiger Woods Is Standing, Bad News: Tiger Woods Is Standing And Wearing Cargo Pants

Just your average good news/bad news situation here. Tiger Woods is in Missouri to announce a new course design. The good news first. He’s standing like a big boy! Lord have mercy I done seen a ghost! Always good to see Eldrick upright when we’ve seen previous reports where he has trouble sitting in a car for instance. The bad news? He’s wearing some sort of cargo pants. At least I think that’s what they are. He might’ve snatched those out of a Navy SEALs locker or some shit. Whatever they are, they have a billion and one pockets. Just endless pockets. Tiger could sneak two cases of beer into a concert with those pants. Tiger has never been a great dresser, and that’s putting it very lightly, but holy moly. Those are something else. Everything from the waist up looks great. I love that color on Tiger. He’s glowing. But from the waist down (sup)? BRUTAL. Tiger needs to find himself a steady lady friend who lays out his clothes in the morning.