A Dude On A Bicycle Got Absolutely SMOKED By A Speeding Cop Car In Brooklyn

Good news! He’s not dead!

An NYPD patrol car struck a bicyclist in Brooklyn early Monday as the officers were responding to a call of a domestic dispute, authorities said.

The man was rushed to Elmhurst General Hospital, where he is listed in stable condition.

The officers were in the process of responding to a call of a domestic dispute on Moore Street when the accident occurred, police said.

But this right here…this is why you don’t ride bikes. A lot of people liked to make fun when I said I never graduated past training wheels because it didn’t come fast to me and I preferred foot-based sports. But you know what you don’t see? Video of me getting fuckin pasted by a cop car mere blocks away from where I live. You know why? Too good, too fast on my feet, not tethered to some sort of wheeled torture balance machine where the more frequently you ride it, the bigger of an asshole you become. No sir, bike life is not for me and a video like this is proof positive that I am very correct in my life choices. Every time a bicyclist gets leveled or gets in one of these road rage incidents, all of the missing milestones of my childhood seem like the correct ones.

Plus I’m glad the guy is okay so we can focus on the positives, namely that cops in my hood are very attentive to domestic violence concerns. You won’t get liquored up and backhand your special lady in my part of town. You might get sideswiped and sent soaring five blocks away by a car, but you definitely won’t get away with domestic violence. Not on my watch. I’m definitely willing to sacrifice the bicycle riders for that.