Anthony Weiner Cries In Court, Pleads Guilty To Being A Creep, Must Register As A Sex Offender And Give Up His iPhone

CNN — Former Rep. Anthony Weiner pleaded guilty Friday to transferring obscene material to a minor, according to the US Attorney’s office for the Southern District of New York.

“I accept full responsibility for my conduct. I have a sickness, but I do not have an excuse,” Weiner said through pauses and bouts of tears in an emotional statement. “I entered intensive treatment, found the courage to take a moral inventory of my defects, and began a program of recovery and mental health treatment that I continue to follow every day.”

As part of the plea agreement, he will have to register as a sex offender, surrender his passport, continue mental health treatment and is barred from having any contact with the girl. He also is required to forfeit his iPhone.

Fuckin’ Weiner. Shleps his ass into court today and pleads guilty to being a big old creep. Says he’s got a sickness. Bro it’s not a sickness — you want to fuck young chicks like everyone else, difference is you can’t control yourself. Difference is you’re a creepo scumbag constantly acting upon these feelings whereas the rest of us #JJO. Maybe get yourself a bracelet and calm down. Sexting a 15-year-old is weird and fucked up so — to quote the famous President Trump — jail time!

I like that he has to give up his iPhone too. Your government is telling you you’re such a creep that you can’t be trusted with an iPhone. Parents give their 5-year-olds iPhones these days. Not Anthony Weiner. Let him near a something with a camera and internet for one second and whammy, his dick’s in every high school chick’s DMs from here to the Gulf of Mexico. Sad.

Imagine how brutal the process of registering as a sex offender must be? I CAN’T STAND registering for shit that I like. Shit that I’m excited about. Masters tickets — register for the lottery every year, it’s miserable every time. Concerts, trips with your buddies. You name anything where you got to go through the process of writing down your information and registering and I’ll tell you it sucks. Got to do it but it sucks.

Now take that and make it all about officially documenting that you’re a big old creep? Miserable. “Please sign here, here, here, and initial here, here, and here if you’re a sex crazed old man who constantly gets caught sending ridiculous dick pics to adolescent girls on twitter, please.”

Then you gotta go around and tell the neighbors too. Do you bring cookies? Brownies? “Hey hello I’m Anthony just a heads up, if you’ve got a daughter, I am a sex offender. Thank you have a nice day.”

Awful stuff. #JJO indeed, folks.