Britain To Stop Sharing Manchester Intel With Us Because We Suck At Not Leaking Shit

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A bad sign here for Uncle Sam. Essentially we suck so bad at keeping secrets and not leaking shit that Britain is like, “fuck off you’re out of the circle.” The New York Times published photos last night from the scene of the Manchester explosion. Those photos were apparently only shared to us via British intelligence and so once they pop up in the NY Times it’s obvious we are the leak. Bad.

It’s so bad that British PM Theresa May is all prepared to bitchslap Donnie.

First and foremost I want to say, on cases like this there can be NO fuck ups. 22 people were murdered at a damn concert, many of them children. Murdered by an evil loser who was part of a crew. Tracking down that crew and eliminating any semblance of a “network” is of the UTMOST importance. We can’t have folks worried about upping their stock with reporters leaking shit to do so. Pathetic. This isn’t a political issue. This isn’t an issue with sides. We’re ALL anti-evil losers. Scold the shit out of us Britain — we deserve it.

Second, everybody’s got that friend that can’t keep a secret. That can’t keep his mouth shut. You tell him you think the hot waitress is flirting with you and within 5 minutes he’s told his girlfriend, his girlfriend’s told her girlfriends, and you’re fending off texts on every front. It’s the worst. Show the dude a smoke on Instagram and you’ve got a 10-page forensic analysis of who all you follow on Instagram from the girl you’re seeing within the hour. Fucking sucks.

And now we’re the global intelligence version of that. Stinks. Outside the circle and much deserved.