PSA: Don't Text While You Walk Or You May Fall Into A Sidewalk Cellar

Look, I am not here to laugh at this old woman. That’s someones daughter, mother and Nana. But what I am going to say is this is a lesson to everyone out there about texting and walking. Texting and driving gets a lot of hype and headlines because you are driving a machine that can murder another person. But you absolutely, positively cannot forget about how those cellar doors on the sidewalk. They could be locked by someone with three brain cells making less than minimum wage. If they close them up and forget to lock them, boom you are Marv from Home Alone 2.

Same with subway grates. You never know who installed that shit. Do you trust any part of the MTA? No fucking way. If someone spits on a rail at Penn Station, it cripples the entire LIRR and NJ Transit for days. You know what the MTA is?

Which is why I am asking you all to be careful when you are looking at your phone. Stay on the cement part of the sidewalk. To dumb it down for the #GoPresGo crowd, basement doors are hot lava. Avoid them whether they are open or closed or else you will look like a wrestler struggling to get over the top rope during the Royal Rumble.

h/t upm