Giraffe Gets Bundled By Antelope, Has No Business Playing In The Same Zoo

That’s it. I’ve seen enough. Get that Giraffe off the field.
Even though it’s not entirely its fault. That’s almost all form and even more heart from the antelope. Solid, legal hit from the ‘lope. The only thing is he has to get his head up to see who he’s tackling or else one day he’s gonna be picking up nickels for the rest of his life. Other than that, great wrap up and follow through. Get that thing on the Eagles and lock up the SAM position till Simba Hicks decides he’s hungry.

If Tex had half the skill or 1/10000000000th of the heart of that antelope then I’d be drinking from a straw. Good thing his greatest ability in life is being a ragdoll.

PS – True Story: While pitching in high school I attempted to field a bunt. Key word: Attempted. I actually spiked myself off the mound and ended up floundering on the grass. I then was told I looked like a “Pregnant Giraffe”. Now I finally see the relevance. Still don’t see how a 16-year-old deserved be screamed how useless he is useless in life and how he turns wet dreams into nightmares in front of his grandparents after pitching a rough inning in a non-league game, but I digress. Wait, no I don’t.
Fuck off, Rod.