Man, Shitfaced, Unstraps Himself From Gurney, Jumps Out Of Moving Ambulance, Sues The City

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NY Times- In an ambulance speeding through Staten Island, a patient began tending to his own needs. He unbuckled the straps of the gurney on which he lay, and opened the doors of the moving vehicle.

The patient, Yaugeni Kralkin, then jumped out, tumbling onto the asphalt and falling unconscious.

On Friday, Mr. Kralkin, 56, filed suit in State Supreme Court on Staten Island against the city, the Fire Department and the four emergency medical workers who were administering to him that night last June.

Mr. Kralkin has accused the workers of failing in their duties, saying they did not stop him from exiting the ambulance and are thus responsible for the injuries he sustained hitting the pavement on Richmond Avenue.

The seemingly strange assignation of blame hinges on one point: Mr. Kralkin was incredibly drunk, with a blood-alcohol level so high he was unaware of his actions, he says, even as he unbuckled straps and ultimately dived from the vehicle, according to his lawyer. The emergency medical workers failed in their duty to protect him, the lawsuit contends, even from himself, in his inebriated state — attributed to a bottle of cognac.

“The facts are unusual,” said the lawyer, Borislav Chernyy. “He certainly did get himself out of the ambulance, but our position is that he was so grossly unsober, he had so much alcohol in his system, that the condition he was in rendered him the equivalent of helpless, absolutely helpless to make informed decisions about his own safety.”

Mr. Kralkin was knocked unconscious, had a seizure and sustained cuts and bruises from the fall on June 11, 2016, according to the suit, which seeks compensation for his medical bills as well as damages.

A second ambulance was called, and by the time it took him to Staten Island University Hospital South Campus, Mr. Kralkin had a blood-alcohol content of .34 according to medical records provided by his lawyer. (It was likely higher during the period he was in the ambulance.)

“Even when we make poor choices, the ones who are there to protect us such as the paramedics should help us in our time of need — even when our time of need is a product of a very poor choice,” the lawyer said.

I went to law school for 4 days, so I’m going to play lawyer, judge, and jury here. Yaugeni Kralkin, or Yao Ming for short, deserves to be compensated for his ordeal. If you’re in an ambulance, you should be safe. That’s a hospital on wheels. Ambulances are equipped to deliver babies, resuscitate dead people, sew up gaping head wounds, and manage the finances of small Caribbean countries. They can bring you back from the dead at 65MPH. It’s the Melisandre of vehicles. So the fact that Yao’s ambulance didn’t have a child lock on the back door is absolutely unacceptable.

I say child lock because given that Yao drank an entire bottle of cognac, his brain was in a childlike state. He went full-child, or FC as they say. As an 8-year-old, I once opened the door to our moving car because things like momentum and pavement didn’t register as threats at that age. Same with our boy. Guy is blacked out but knows the gurney isn’t his bed. He’s a trucker from Belarus. Imagine the terror going through his brain as he comes out of that blackout, strapped to a bed in a car full of knives, needles, scissors and tape? Probably thought he was on a transport vehicle home. His escape was nothing short of heroic.

This is the city’s defense:

“There is no provision for locking anybody in,” Mr. Ungar added. “What is this E.M.T. supposed to do to stop somebody who loses control of themselves and does something crazy like that? It’s not their job to get into a physical altercation with somebody who decides they are going to try and jump out of the ambulance.”

Lock the fucking doors! 1994 Volvos have child locks. 2017 ambulances should probably be equipped with that groundbreaking technology.