Tom Cruise Reportedly Used To Turn Down Happy Hour With The Cast Of Risky Business For "Bible Reading and Blow Jobs"

Credit: Steve Schapiro / Contributor

Decider – Tom Cruise apparently spent his days on the Risky Business set turning down happy hour for “Bible reading” and getting bjs from a long line of admirers instead. That’s right. The squeaky-clean, goody two-shoes teen that Cruise plays at the start of the flick was a lot closer to the image Cruise aimed to emulate at the start of his career, but according to co-star Curtis Armstrong’s memoir, this couldn’t be further from the truth.

Cruise apparently made “straight arrows look like corkscrews” when they weren’t shooting, and Armstrong would ask him to come out for drinks when they’d wrap each day, but Cruise would politely refuse. “Got an early call tomorrow. Got to work out still, study my lines. And then I like to read the Bible a little before bed.”

Cruise, who had a deeply Catholic upbringing, was seemingly very committed to his religion before he found L. Ron Hubbard’s way of life, but Armstrong claims that this was just a front.

“Returning late one night, I found three or four young girls — late teens, I suspect — lined up in the hall outside of Tom’s room. I remember thinking, “Tom’s going to be really upset if these hot girls interfere with his Bible reading.” So I asked them, with all the stern gravitas of my 28 years, if there was something I could do to help them,” Armstrong writes. “They just stared at me, and at that moment, Tom’s door opened and another girl came out, adjusting her hair and taking off down the hall, while the first girl in line slipped into Tom’s room.” Armstrong laughs at his naivety now, marveling at the impressiveness at it all.

“This was a young man who knew something about time management and understood how to successfully juggle Bible study and blow jobs. I went to bed alone that night thinking it served me right for not being religious.”

“Bible Study and Blow Jobs.”  Love it.   Throw that on a T-shirt and peddle them outside the Christian summer camps for the next few months, get all the rebellious kids who want to stick it to their parents for all those stupid CCD classes. Basically print money, you’re welcome.

As for the story, it’s no surprise – Cruise is a stud.  A star.  The fuck would he want to hang out with some no-name loser cast and crew when he could chill in his suite reading Corinthians and getting blow jobs?  What’s he gonna go down to the local dive bar and throw back Jameson shots with the Key Grip?  Head on down without him fellas, the Good Book ain’t gonna read itself.  The Lord is good, blessed is the one who takes refuge in him, and gets some sweet head while doing it.  That’s Psalm 34:8 (roughly paraphrased), look it up.

Listen everybody knows I’m a HUGE Cruise guy.  Complete and total weirdo, definitely allegedly gay (not that there is anything wrong with that), absolute nutjob, blah blah blah – incredible actor.  AWESOME movies.   I’ve previously described it this way:  Tom Cruise has the greatest inverse correlation of “fucking love that guy” to “absolutely never want to hang out with that guy in real life” of anyone on the planet. Unreal actor with like 20 of my favorite movies of all time. Total fucking weirdo Scientology lunatic. Both things not mutually exclusive.

Oh and for the record this is a completely made up story by whoever the fuck this guy is.  Like not for one second reading that did I believe that I was reading something that actually happened.