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Police Break Up a Gay Orgy. At the Vatican.

Vatican

SourceVatican police have broken up a gay orgy at the home of the secretary to one of Pope Francis’s key advisers, it has been reported.

The flat belonged to the Vatican’s Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, which is in charge of tackling clerical sexual abuse.

Reports in Italy claim the occupant of the apartment is allegedly the secretary to Cardinal Francesco Coccopalmerio – a key aide to the 80-year-old Pope.

Coccopalmerio heads the Pontifical Council for Legislative texts and was said to have once recommended his secretary for a promotion to bishop. …

In March the Vatican was hit with a wave of lurid accusations of misbehaving priests across Italy with scandals involving orgies, prostitution and porn videos.

Here’s something all non-Catholics should know about being a practicing Catholic in this post-Spotlight world. At this point, the Church is pretty much beyond shocking us at this point. I’m being completely serious. It’s like Trump. There’s nothing you can say about it worse than has already been said a hundred billion times. About 20 years ago, the idea of a gay orgy on Vatican grounds would’ve been a scandal of major proportions. But today? When I click a link about a sex party and it involves a bunch of consenting adult males? I feel like we dodged a bullet on this one.

Make that a lot of bullets. I’m talking Jules and Vincent when the kid comes out of the back room emptying his hand cannon at them amount of bullets dodged. Now, do I think an apartment in The Holy See is the proper place for a wild gay orgy? Not so much. I’d prefer all those gentlemen chip in and get a nice hotel suite for the evening and enjoy one another’s man parts to their hearts’ content. But I’m also not the least bit worked up about it. As long as everyone in the room is over the age of consent and not a victim of human trafficking, I consider this to be a huge win for us. I’m bothered by people who park too close to my space at the 10 AM Mass. At this point, a group of guys who prefer the company of other guys banging each other a block from the Basilica is the moral equivalent of jaywalking as far as I’m concerned.

Of course this begs the question of whether it’s a sin for Vatican clergy to be having orgies of any kind. But that’s way above my pay grade. This is why Francis makes the big Pope bucks. But I don’t think it would be the worst thing for recruiting to let it be known that if you want to come work for him, you can get all the grown up sex a person could want but underaged kids are totally off limits on his watch. And just be glad there’s no damage anyone can do to the Church worse than it already did to itself.

@jerrythornton1