The Eagles Sign A 6'5, 265lb Canadian Rugby Star Because Why The Hell Not?

(Welcoming IG and obligatory rugby file photo of someone attempting to rip a dick clean off)

CBSSports – The team announced Monday that they’ve signed Canadian rugby star Adam Zaruba to a three-year contract. The 6-foot-5 Zaruba will try to make the team as a tight end. The signing comes one day after the Eagles had Zaruba in for a workout. The 26-year-old flew to Philadelphia on Friday and then had a tryout Sunday. Although the Eagles have already officially announced the signing, coach Doug Pederson didn’t have much to say when asked about his new tight end. “We continue to bring guys in, work them out and see where they’re at. And that’s about all right now,” Pederson said. According to the Canadian Press, Zaruba can begin practicing with the Eagles as soon as he gets a work visa. The rugby star, who hasn’t played football since high school, seems pretty excited about getting a shot at an NFL roster.

You know what? I don’t hate the move. What’s not to like? The last time the Eagles committed to an unproven, 26-year-old Canadian athlete with very limited football experience he heroically became the Frisco Firefighter/EMT 2015 Rookie of the Year (sweet 2011 first round pick, Andy and Howie!).

But for real, there’s really no harm in this signing, even if the Eagles already have three capable tight ends in Zach Ertz, Brent Celek, and Trey Burton. Maybe Zaruba can channel his inner Rugby batshit and become a certified beast. Who knows? Did you know that Antonio Gates didn’t play football in college and instead played basketball at Kent State? True Story. If the Birds can swipe up actual talent like they’re freaking filming The Replacements, I don’t think anyone would mind. If you can play, you can play. And it’s clear Zaruba has some game. Look at these mitts:

Not to mention his legs are trunks the straight out of General Sherman’s tree genepool. Get this man in some pads and see what he can do. Or, even better, don’t get him any pads and let’s see what he can do. Big Adam Zaruuuuuuuba might be batshit enough to where he doesn’t need any armor in battle.