Some Stuffy British Anchorman On BBC Was Not Thrilled To Report About A Dog Surfing Contest In California

I know most British people naturally sound stuck up because of their fancy pants accent and shit like that. I also know that the month of August is a fucking griiiind for us in the #content business. But this Simon bird seemed extra salty on this broadcast and can go kick rocks with this nonsense. To quote the great Brad Pitt from the great True Romance, “Don’t condescend me, man. I’ll fucking kill ya, man”. If you want to act like a bunch of dogs surfing isn’t fun to watch, save it for tea time or whatever other lame traditions they have over in jolly old England. Dog surfing plays in the United States because we aren’t scared to admit we like the basic pleasures in life. I bet Brits like Simon don’t think that hip hop cartoon mash ups like this are funny

Americans aren’t trying to impress our king or people playing croquet or whatever the hell goes on at Buckingham Palace. If you can’t muster up a few chuckles and awwwwws while watching some good boys and girls shredding some gnar on a beautiful California day, your soul has been dead for a while. Go cover whatever the British version of CSPAN is. Save the news for guys like Ron Burgundy that can let their hair down and have some fun with their audience.

No wonder places like America and Australia are so great. They broke away from the most boring parent country of all-time. Everything in those two countries prolly went from black and white to HD once the last Brit was booted out on his ass. Again, I’m not asking Simon to stop acting like a Simon by having some fun. I’m just saying should just give up his job to someone who actually enjoys the little things in life.