Fleas In Arizona Testing Positive For The Bubonic Plague Seems Like A Bad Thing

ABC News- Officials in two Arizona counties are warning the public after fleas in the region tested positive for the plague, the infamous infectious disease that killed millions during the Middle Ages. Navajo County Public Health officials confirmed on Friday that fleas in the area have tested positive for the rare disease. The public health warning follows a similar notice from Coconino County Public Health Services District in Arizona warning of the presence of plague in fleas found there too. Both counties are situated in the northern part of Arizona.

“Navajo County Health Department is urging the public to take precautions to reduce their risk of exposure to this serious disease, which can be present in fleas, rodents, rabbits and predators that feed upon these animals,” the public health warning states. “The disease can be transmitted to humans and other animals by the bite of an infected flea or by direct contact with an infected animal.” Officials also urged persons living, working, camping or visiting in these areas to take precautions to reduce their risk of exposure, including avoiding sick or dead animals, keeping pets from roaming loose, and avoiding rodent burrows and fleas.

While the warning may ring alarm bells for people who only know of the plague from history books, the findings are not without precedent. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) notes that studies suggest that outbreaks of the plague occasionally occur in southwestern U.S. states like Arizona during cooler summers that follow wet winters. Symptoms of plague include sudden onset of fever, headache, chills, and weakness and one or more swollen, tender and painful lymph nodes, according to the CDC. If untreated, the bacteria can spread to other parts of the body.

What a fucking week for shitty things people used to worry about coming back into our lives. First we had a crazy dickhead talking about nuking the US. Then Nazis started waving their flags like they didn’t blow a 28-3 lead in World War II. And now the bubonic plague has come back wearing the 4-5 like Jordan. Reboots are so hot in Hollywood streets that even the news stories are getting reboots.

I used to get made whenever Portnoy would talk about selling out the human race if aliens ever arrived. I was #TeamHuman for life. But I think I may have to become a species traitor myself and welcome the plague with open arms. It may be about time for humans to go the way of the dodo bird and let someone else take control of his planet. I think we did a good job when we were on the throne. The internet is pretty much better than anything the dinosaurs ever did when they ruled the planet. And I imagine whoever was on top after the dinosaurs went extinct never had anything close to as entertaining as NFL football. Sure I’d rather not shit my organs out of my ass or however you die from the plague. But I think I’ve seen enough out of humanity lately to have it where I’m not explicitly rooting FOR the plague, but I’m also definitely not rooting against it. It’s like Trent said with Game of Thrones. When you take into account all the shitty stuff that happens on the show, the White Walkers really aren’t all that bad. If this plague news is God’s way of hitting the reset button on who rules the planet, I think I’ll be able to rest easy at night.

That being said, I realize that fleas and dogs are natural enemies in the ilk of cat and mouse. At no time am I wishing any harm on our canine allies. I just want to make that clear. And I do feel kinda bad for every person that gets a case of the sniffles in Arizona once fall and winter hits is going to be told by WebMD that they have the black plague. But I’m sure Arizonans (Arizonians?) don’t shed any tears when my fat ass is shoveling my driveway for the third time in a week while they have a pool party in the middle of February. But if Satan is assembling a super team with nukes, Nazis and the black plague, I’m all for us getting wiped off the planet before he picks up whatever the Kevin Durant is of mass destruction (which in my mind is the asteroid from Armageddon. And I don’t think we have a real life Harry Stamper among us to stop it).