Ricky Vaughn, Jake Taylor, And Roger Dorn Are Looking GREAT These Days!
As someone that has Major League as his favorite sports movie ever, this picture hurt. A LOT. I’ve seen Goldberg from The Mighty Ducks fall from grace documented on this blog. And it appears that the 1989 AL champion Indians aren’t doing much better. If you are an actor from a beloved sports movie from the 80s or 90s, chances are your ass is on the Hot Seat one way or another.
Now listen, I understand I am in no place to judge other people’s looks. If I ever pick up a “You Have Won Second Prize In A Beauty Contest. Collect $10″ card in Monopoly, I don’t take the money because I know some shit must have been rigged. And that was even before I started working a job where the employees age somewhere between dogs and presidents. But damn, every one of those Hollywood nights in those Hollywood hills are on the faces of Charlie, Tom, and Corbin.
Apparently Charlie Sheen took this picture during an autograph session at the Field of Dreams field and was so bad that even Charlie Sheen had to delete it.
Do you know how bad something has to be for Charlie Sheen to delete it? He’s one of the few people in the world that gives less fucks than Portnoy. But the camera don’t lie and the camera says that Moonlight Graham aged better on that very field when he stepped across that foul line while gaining 60 years to his face and 10 inches of sag to his balls. Even the daughter in Field Of Dreams was in better shape and she was choking to death on a hot dog with purpler lips than A-Rod. Never in a million years did I think the guy that has HIV and became the poster child for not doing drugs would end up looking the best out of those 3 young studs. Jake Taylor looks like he took getting dumped by Rene Russo extra hard for about 25 years in that Mexican hotel with all the roosters in it. And I actually went to Corbin Bernsen’s Wikipedia page to make sure he didn’t have some sort of disease before I wrote this blog.
We gucci! But a snow globe collection? That is lame even for a pretty boy like Corbin Bernsen. Most Roger Dorn thing ever.
Anyway back to the pic. Those three look bad enough on their own. But to throw a Before picture into the mix is just begging the internet to roast your ass. Go back and look at yourself from even 5 years ago on Facebook then jump ahead to today. If you are anywhere near the age of 30, you just got very depressed. An all-time Jimbo out of Charlie Sheen, who is obviously no stranger to the Jimbo.
Meanwhile Willie Mays Hayes and Pedro Cerrano look like the could suit up for the real life Indians that haven’t lost a game since like July.
TL;DR- Father Time added 3 more W’s to it’s undefeated record while Black Don’t Crack continues to toss gems year in and year out.