Ray Lewis Claims Colin Kaepernick's Girlfriend's Tweet Kept Him Off the Ravens
You think Boomer Esiason had a tough day waking up to find out his on-air partner got arrested by the feds? Watch him here trying to make sense of whatever the absolute fuck point Ray Lewis is trying to make. But you can’t blame Boomer. Amy Adams in Arrival couldn’t decipher this.
All we know is that Ray is trying to claim that he had Colin Kaepernick all but signed by Ozzie Newsome and Steve Biscotti at the beginning of August. Until Kapernick’s girlfriend sent out this Tweet, which torpedoed the deal.
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???? @raylewis pic.twitter.com/N9k7nDgmDh
— NESSA (@nessnitty) August 3, 2017
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At least I think that’s what he’s saying. I don’t speak fluent Ray Lewis. If it’s true, it would’ve been a pretty significant development in the Kaepernick story. But Ray, who is sort of in the business of breaking news and generating conversation, chose to sit on it for over a month. Why? I’m glad Phil Simms asked. “Because everybody wants to tell their own story about what me and Shannon got into an argument about signing Colin but he’s talking about police brutality.”
Glad we cleared that up. Crystal.
Beyond that, what we get here is a taste of why we need Ray Lewis back on the air on regular basis. In the span of a couple of minutes he managed to check all the “It’s Like Ray Lewis is Trying to Communicate with Us” boxes:
Malaprop? “Look, this is what I wanted to share with people. I have been fighting for this kid behind the table like nobody has.” Check.
Martyrdom? “I fought for kids that’s done bad things and been looked at the wrong way.” Check.
Making it all about Ray? “I listened to all these things that everybody wanted to say about me. People even spoke about my kids.” Check.
A triple negative? “And nobody never said that I never said one thing about Colin Kaepernick. Check.
Third person? “[indecipherable] stay up to one or two o’clock in the morning trying to get Colin Kaepernick a job but that is what Ray Lewis does.”
Victim Card? “I lived police injustice.” Check.
Bingo! I’ve got Ray Lewis Bingo! Thank you, Inside the NFL. It’s going to be a hell of a year.