Boston.Com Love Letters - I Can't Stop Having Dreams About Another Man
Reader Email
I have been dating my boyfriend on and off for the past four years, in and out of school (we’re in our early 20s now). This time around is the longest we’ve dated without breaking up. We’re almost at our two-year mark and things are going well.
The problem is that over the past year, I’ve been thinking about someone else, a guy I knew in school who used to like me years ago, and I was always attracted to him. We didn’t keep in touch after graduation, but he randomly texted me the other day to tell me he has a girlfriend who is a “version of me.”
I know my boyfriend is the one I want to be with for the rest of my life. Maybe it’s just me being stupid right now, but this other guy – I just can’t get him out of my head for some reason.
What should I do?
– Dazed and Confused
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Meredith Hoss Goldstein’s Answer
There’s nothing to do about this other man, really. You have a significant other and so does he. Your best bet is to have your sexy dreams and enjoy them. You’re allowed to have fantasies, and in a long-term relationship, it’s hard to avoid them. You might be less haunted if you stop thinking of your current relationship as a lifetime commitment. You’re not betrothed; there’s no promise of forever just yet. I think you’re becoming obsessed with this other guy – and panicking about your future, in general – because you’re asking questions that you can’t answer right now.
All you know is this: “We’re almost at our two-year mark and things are going well.” If you drop all of your big expectations, you might feel breezier about your fantasy life.
– Meredith
Readers? What do you think?
El Pres Answer
Dear Dazed And Confused,
Here is a fact. The only way to stop dreaming about fucking somebody else is to fuck them. That’s it. Because once you start fantasizing it’s impossible to stop thinking about it until a penis is physically inserted into a vagina. Especially when you know the other person wants to fuck too. So it’s not a matter of if you bang him, but when. Therefore you might as well get it over with so you can decide who lays pipe better. Because until you fuck this dude you’ll never be able to move on. That’s just a fact jack.
Pres