India Is Joining The 21st Century With A Brand New "Human Friendly" Bullet Train

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Source - India will invest $17bn to build its first high-speed train system, having reached a deal with Japan to help finance the project. The network, which will run 508km between Mumbai and Ahmedabad, was announced on Thursday by Prime Minister Narendra Modi.

“This is the new India, and the flight of its dreams is endless,” he said. “The bullet train project will bring speed and employment. It is human-friendly and eco-friendly.”

Japan will fund more than 80 percent, nearly $1.4bn, of the project’s cost, providing a 0.1 percent interest loan due to be repaid over the next 50 years.

The line, which will use Japanese bullet trains and technology, is expected to be complete by 2023 and will cut travel time between the two cities from eight hours currently to around three.

The new train will carry 750 passengers at an average speed of 250 kilometres per hour and a top speed of about 320 km/h, double the top speed of the fastest train in India.

On Thursday, the two sides also signed agreements covering science and technology, investment promotion, disaster management and civil aviation cooperation after the discussions.

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Usually when I see “India” in a title I expect a story about a two-headed baby or a man with trees for hands, so this is a nice change of pace. India’s transportation system is due for an upgrade. I googled “India+trains” and these were the first pictures that came up.

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Imagine racing through the Indian jungle on that thing? Half the people getting shaved off the sides every time you go through a tunnel. It sounds like a nightmare and I’m not even going to get into the stench which I cannot imagine is too pleasant, seeing as India’s average temperature is 104 degrees. No wonder the Prime Minster had to include “human friendly” in his press release. Their current trains are literally not built for people. All Japan would’ve had to do is give them seats and they would’ve been thrilled. Instead they spent seventeen-billion-dollars on the Ace and Gary mobile.

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No country has a clearer divide between the haves and have-nots than India. It’s either wealth beyond your wildest dreams or complete poverty. I watched an entire Vice documentary on glue-addicted orphaned Indian children whose entire kiddy economy runs on chemically soaked rags and the very next show was about lavish Indian weddings. I swear to God. I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried. Even the movies are all over the place: Slumdog Millionaire, Life Of Pi, The Jungle book. 

I may designate myself Barstool’s official India blogger. Between the birth defects and cultural news, I could crank out ten blogs a day.