Time To Move To Canada As Drunk Canoeing Has Finally Been Legalized Once Again

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OttawaCitizen – Knocking back a few brews and taking the canoe out for a paddle is still a terrible idea, but it may no longer run you the risk of having your driver’s licence suspended and car impounded.

As the federal government moves to tighten impaired driving laws ahead of the legalization of marijuana, it’s also clearing up a grey area in the Criminal Code that has seen police hand out drunk driving charges to tipsy canoeists.

You want to talk about Freedom? You want to talk about the pursuit of happiness? Well look no further than to our good buddies up north in Canada because this is what Freedom is all about. Being able to crack open a few cold ones while you drift down the Rideau Canal with the boys. I don’t always canoe when I drink, but I do always drink while I canoe. For far too long, however, drunk canoeing ran you the risk of getting run down by a couple of mounties making you out to be some sort of outlaw. I’m not Jesse James here, buddy. I’m just trying to get black out drunk on this here river and live my life.

Stupid sexy Justin Trudeau. Guy really knows how to live his best life. Becomes Prime Minister. Legalizes the weeeeeeeed and drunk canoeing. Now he just gets to go out on the river and party his ass off until the next election. Guy knows how to Make Canada Great Again.

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@BarstoolJordie