Tom Petty's The Last Dance Of Mary Jane Gave Me A Weird Necrophilia Boner When I Was Young

Hate hearing about Tom Petty. What a musical talent. There’s not many people who you could put their songs on at a get-together and people go, “oh hell yeah. I love that song, you googly-eyed fucc boi.” Tom Petty is one of those people. Everybody loved his bangers. Everybody. Including me.

But that’s not what this is about. When I was 11, the dead woman in Tom Petty’s Last Dance Of Mary Jane gave me a boner! Whoa. That was unexpected, right?

I dont know why she gave me a boner but she did. I remember looking at her lips and thinking, “Jeepers. Do those go on a penis? Is suckin dick a thing that happens?”

24 years later, I know that people do suck dick and I was right. Lips are a part of that. No one wants a toothy blow jibber.

That being said, I rewatched the video a few times since I heard about Tom Petty’s health situation so that I could really honor his artistic achievements via video but I cant really pin down what made me so horny when I was little. Frustrating!

Every time I’ve thought about Tom Petty through the years I’ve had a little death shame. Was I big ole weirdo for being horned up about Tom Petty’s fake dead wife in a music video? Would I fuck deads when I got older? I hope not. That’s against the law. I couldn’t help but remember Mary Jane floating through the water and mouthing the words of the song. I remember her swaying in the water with her hair moving back and forth across her body. It was really sexy how she looked like a mermaid but wasn’t a cartoonish mermaid. Or so I thought.

You see, I discovered today that for all these years I thought that Last Dance Of Mary Jane is what made me horny but it was actually Come Undone by Duran Duran. Incredible. I’m not turned on by dead people! Suck it, haters!