I Will Never Paint A Baby's Ass

Lots of people online are asking me about art. They know that I’m a huge arts and crafts lover, and that it’s still pumpkin szn. Naturally, people start painting babies’ asses and thinking that I’ll follow suit. Guess what, libtards? I wont. I’ll never paint a baby’s ass. Sure I’ll make an adorable rose painting using only a baby’s foot but that’s lovely.

Hang that bad boy over the fireplace and not only do you have a lovely piece of art but you might get yourself a kiss or two.

“Hey, honey. Come look at this fucking art. Shit is dope as hell.”

She comes running over because she admires your taste in art.

“Damn. That’s sick as hell,” she says completely enamored with your keen eye for beauty. Introspectively, your eye for beauty overwhelms her because she realizes that if you are with her, she’s intrinsically beautiful as well. Romantic doesnt begin to describe how romantic that is. She pulls down your pants and gives you the blowjob of your life, and it’s all because you didn’t paint baby buttcheeks when Buzz Feed told you to. Thinking for yourself feels good, doesn’t it? Good work, everybody.

PS. If you’re a lady, I wrote this part in your voice too.

“Hey, honey. Come look at this fucking art. Shit is dope as hell.”

He comes running over because he admires your taste in art.

“Damn. That’s sick as hell,” he says completely enamored with your keen eye for beauty. Introspectively, your eye for beauty overwhelms him because he realizes that if you are with him, he’s intrinsically beautiful as well. Romantic doesn’t begin to describe how romantic that is. He pulls down your pants and gives you the liccin of your life, and it’s all because you didn’t paint baby buttcheeks when Buzz Feed told you to. Thinking for yourself feels good, doesn’t it? Good work, everybody.