A Michigan State Kid Becomes The Star Of Campus By Trying To Eat 100 McChickens In 24 Hours

EAST LANSING – Derek Metcalf, a senior at Michigan State University, saw a challenge posted on Snapchat last week: eat 100 McChicken sandwiches from McDonald’s in 24-hours.

“I’m a fan of the McChicken,” Metcalf said, “I’ve always loved them.”

He didn’t think he could eat 100. Maybe a professional eater. Not a chemical engineering major. But he decided to give it his best shot.

He started eating at 4:30 a.m. The first four went down easy, Metcalf said.

Metcalf broadcast his efforts via Snapchat during the course of the day.

He knew he was gaining steam when his friends started texting him to say he was the entirety of the MSU Snapchat stories page. The story had more than 5,000 views on Snapchat, said Andrew Seng, a friend of Metcalf’s.

Oh hell yeah. I’m here for this. This is EXACTLY what college is all about – doing dumb shit just because you feel like it. The dumber the better. Eating 100 McChickens in one day, who would do that? Why? Morgan Spurlock already did Supersize Me, it’s not like you’re going to do any groundbreaking documentarian work. You don’t seem to have any interest in exposing Big Burger or promoting healthy living.  The answer? Because why the fuck not? You’re at college, your parents are probably paying for it, you don’t have a care in the world except passing classes and trying to get laid.  You have some (a lot) of free time, see some random challenge about eating 100 McChickens, hey, why the hell not?

I’m all in on Derek.

However…we ran into a problem.

By the time Metcalf was nearing 20 McChickens – having exceeded Seng’s prediction – he agreed to buy his friend the next five.

“Personally, I had him at 16 or 17,” Seng said. “He definitely surpassed what I thought he could do.”

But after the 24th, Metcalf admitted defeat. It was taking him 30 minutes to eat each sandwich at that point. He knew he didn’t have enough time to finish, not without hurling.

A 25th McChicken went uneaten. He hasn’t had a McChicken since.

Wait.  He made it to 24?  I thought I was confusing the numbers here and was re-reading the “24 hours” sentence.  He ate twenty four McChickens while he was advertising trying to eat 100??

Buddy…you simply cannot take a picture like this mean mugging with your McChicken sandwich about to embark on the “100 McChicken Challenge” then eat 24 motherfucking McChickens.

Humiliating.  Embarrassing.  Emasculating.

What went wrong?

He started eating at 4:30 a.m. The first four went down easy, Metcalf said. But a hurdle soon emerged in his one-day-only dollar-menu diet: mayonnaise.

“Too much mayo makes a man weak,” Metcalf said. “It was really hard to eat that amount of mayo.”

Chugga chugga…chugga chugga…here comes the Excuse Train.  Too much mayo?  Give me a break lightweight.

I do respect the prep work he put into it:

Metcalf spent the weekend working out, burning calories in preparation for a massive all-day meal.

Not incidentally, 100 McChickens is 35,000 calories worth of poultry, bun and toppings.

A whole weekend working out.  You don’t see it much.  Just goes to show the levels of dedication to becoming a viral superstar here.

Also, not to pile on, but this is bullshit cheating:

On Sunday night, he stopped at the McDonalds on Grand River Avenue in East Lansing and picked up the first 10, throwing several in the oven on low heat.

Each time he stopped at the McDonalds on Grand River, he’d order five more sandwiches. He pan-fried a few to get them crispy and tried chopping up one sandwich for a change of pace.

You eat them as they come.  That’s a McChicken.  A McChicken isn’t just the ingredients, it’s the entire presentation and the entire experience.  It’s getting it from the cranky ass McDonalds worker, having it handed to you through the window that you parked way too far away from, unwrapping that greasy gross paper, looking down at the sandwich that looks just like the picture except stepped on by a steel toed boot, run through a washing machine and with 9 Instagram filters removed, and eating it as-is.  Not putting it in the oven and turning it into a fucking chopped salad.

BOO!  BOO THIS MAN! BOOOOOOOO!