Is This Rose Tryin To Get The Pipe?

It’s 1995 and you and your girlfriend are on your way to watch Batman Forever. The cast is star-studded, to say the least. Jim Carrey, Tommy Lee Jones, Val Kilmer, and Nicole Kidman starring as Dr. Chase Meridian.

You’re riding to the movies in your new car. It’s a 1995 Acura NSX and the top is off. The weather is as delightful as the company of your beloved.

One of your favorite aspects of the car is the incredible sound system. Fully upgraded entertainment. The bass rattles your ass and the treble is as crisp as the ocean’s breeze.

After the movie is over, you hop back in the car. Once you crank the car, Seal’s title track begins to play over the radio.

Romance is wafting like the smell of freshly pruned roses which gives you an idea. You pull into a local grocery store and tell your lady friend to sit tightly. You run inside the store to pick up some flowers, some roses to be specific. Well, when you get to the floral department, you see this little number giving you a side eye.

The rose is calling to you. You have one beautiful flower in the car already. Does a man need two? Surely not. All of a sudden your psychology courses at Stanford coming rushing back to you. Those courses said that monogamy is but a social construct and not realistic for most people. You’ve never believed that. You’ve always been a one rose kinda guy. You pride yourself on that. But, the heart wants what it wants. You pick up the rose in question and bring it back to your car.

When you get out there, you realize that your lover is dead in the front seat. You look up to see this car speeding away.

The Riddler! Son of a bitch. You alert the authorities and head home. You’re not alone tho.

You take the rose home. You pour yourself a glass of whiskey. The next thing you know…

The answer was always yes. Next question.